Down To Earth
by Twirling-Into-Oblivion
Summary: B. Summers was drafted into the Super Soldier experiment by Dr Erskin under dire conditions year ago. The serum was faulty however, giving her a unique "earthly" ability instead. Working alongside Steve and Bucky begins to direct her personal mission in the opposite direction. Fighting conflicting feelings and Nazi's, will Bethany accept that Bucky can bring her back Down to Earth?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! This is my first fanfic on this site so it might be a little rough with the editing and such. :)**

 **These chapters take place during the events of Captain America: The First Avenger and will continue to the other sequels. I welcome reviews and criticism, anything to keep me going really. :D**

 **The rating might change with incoming chapters and such, so I hope you all enjoy and if you need to ask me any questions just PM me. :)**

 **New York _-_ 1942**

"Anything else you need Doc? I might just take a walk and relax for a while." Bethany Summers sighed, purposely sagging her shoulders in an effort to conceal her excitement. Acting tired after a long day of examining potential Super Soldiers might make the Doctor feel a little bit of sympathy. Her efforts seemed futile, however, as Doctor Abraham Erskine seemed to know exactly what she had planned.

As always.

"I never said that I would agree with you going, Miss Summers. You know how I feel about-"  
"But I can't hurt anyone tonight!" she exclaimed, excited at the prospect of him even considering, quickly toning down as the passers by stared confused by her sudden outburst.

"I won't hurt anyone tonight." she corrected quickly, her eyes quickly fixated onto the marbled floor.  
"Please, it's just one night Doc, before we leave, I just want to explore New York one last time."

He looked up from his clipboard, his large, tired brown eyes curious, yet careful. He looked older than he was in that moment, an aged man who kept a dark history locked behind those glasses. The Doctor gave her a look she had grown to accept not as an offense, but as a sign of fatherly affection; worriedness.  
Bethany made sure she stared long and hard at him, willing every bit of hope out of herself for the Doctor to just say yes.

After a moment of silence, filled with consideration and suspense, the Doctor paused at the edge of the Enlisting facility entry.

"Just this once." he finally sighed, removing his glasses to rub his weary eyes.

Overcome with excitement and disbelief, Bethany nearly screamed of joy, but restrained herself, instead squeezed the Doctor, ignoring the wrinkles her nurse attire would soon present.

"Thank you thank you thank you! I promise you won't regret this my good Doctor." she grinned, her cheeky smile spreading to his.

She slipped her arm into his, giddy and joyful, heading towards the two open doors welcoming them into New York City.

The pulse of the city was deafening, she could feel everything and everyone's being just by focusing. If the Earth could feel it, she could aswell.

It was a warm, noisy night in New York, full of laughter and music, full of hope and ambition from every citizen. The Exhibition of Future Technologies was right on the Enlistment Center's doorstep, revealing bright lights and machines that the population seemed to occupy. Couple's with fingers laced into each other were making the most of the time they had together, as most of the men wore the traditional soldiers attire, green-grey pants with a folded coat, and a nice little caps with the America army emblem proudly printed on the front.

They seemed happy to Bethany, not a care in the world, enjoying their loved-ones company before they get shipped out tomorrow to face all sorts of danger. Most of them weren't coming back, and they knew that.

They were doing their country proud and that's what mattered to them.

"Inspiring, really." the Doctor smiled, interrupting Bethany's analysis.

He always seemed to know what she was thinking, just by looking at her. She wouldn't be surprised if he actually did.

"I don't know, this all just seems too fake to me. They know what will happen when he goes to war. Not everyone comes back."

"They aren't thinking the same thing, Miss Summers. Hope is what will keep them going, up until the very moment they receive the confirmation letter. It's all they have. It's all we have." he said, his linked arm tensing slightly against hers.

Her wide eyes scanned his face worriedly, as she felt a pang of guilt reside in her chest.

"We'll find the best candidate for your experiment Doc. Trust me. I'll even find him myself tonight." she said with a smirk, hopefully changing the topic and focus. Instead, he looked down at her with a confused yet stern expression.

She suddenly regretted opening her mouth, ever.

"Steve c'mon this is ridiculous, it's my last night in town. Let's enjoy it. I gotta take these girls dancing anyways, that should be your responsibility right now." a voice cut through the tense silence, turning the Doctor and Bethany's attention towards the steps below them.

Two young men stood facing each other, one small and frail with short, sandy hair. His face unreadable, apart from his eyes, full of sadness and surprising determination.

"You know I have to try Bucky, I can't pass up this chance, even if it's not even a big one. I have to do something." the small one named Steve said, his words full of inspiration and hope.

 _He has such a presence for a small man_ , Bethany acknowledged with an raised eyebrow.

The other young man sounded frustrated, but seemingly accepting. Steve obscured the other man from her position on the edge of the footsteps.

"Fine, if its what you gotta do, then that's what you gotta do. You're missing out on the dancing though." the man named Bucky chimed, walking slowly down the steps towards two giggling girls in pretty dresses.

"Don't win the war without me." Steve called after him, his words causing Bucky to pause.

Bethany's stomach flipped unexpectedly as Bucky turned around with a smile playing against his lips.

Observing the conversation suddenly felt like an memorizing experience, her wide eyes locked onto his being. His eyes were grinning at Steve, the color of a chilled breeze, so blue she could see through them. His small grin was playful and teasing, ready to joke back to his small friend.

He wore the typical enrolled soldier outfit, tightly fitted against his bodice. It was such a nice fit, Bethany couldn't stop staring.

Her eyes were glued to him, as she just couldn't help wondering-

"Jerk." Steve tore her out of her imagination by embracing Bucky, waving him off as he descended the steps again, towards the stupid, cackling girls waiting for his presence.

"Miss Summers? Bethany, can you hear me?" the Doctor untangled their linked arms, touching her wrist slightly in an attempt to wake her from her hypnotized state.

His words fell flat against her ears as she watched, a sudden craving feeling infecting her stomach. Bucky walked off, one girl in his arm and the other girl buzzing excitedly on his other, disappearing into the busy crowd and towards the Exhibition. Steve let out a sigh he thought no one else could hear, and began towards the Doctor and Bethany, entering the facility to supposedly sign up.

It took a moment for Bethany to come back to her senses, suddenly realizing she had held her breath in the entire time. She looked up at the Doctor with an dazed expression.

"What?" she breathed. "Did you say something?"  
The Doctor sighed, but smiled, an unfamiliar shine forming in his dark, calculating eyes.

"I think I've found the solution."

Bethany nodded, not taking any words into account, and began to change her attire into something more comfortable.

"Well I'm off, I'll only be out for a little while. See ya Doc." she said, removing her apron and nurse cap, handing the pile to the Doctor. She lightly patted his shoulder with a grin, surprisingly not as excited but more reserved than before, and started down the steps towards the Exhibition.

As she left, the Doctor looked down to sigh once more, as Bethany had left two deep cracks in the earth where she had stood.

* * *

Singing crowds, loud music and cheering audiences filled up the Exhibition of Future Technologies. Bethany didn't know what to feel.

Excited? Nervous? Hysterical?

It was much different than what she was used to. Examination rooms, training grounds and dirt. So much dirt. The ground beneath felt tight and claustrophobic. Covered in concrete, but sleeping soundly underneath the roaring city. It was comforting, yet her chest felt unreasonably tight.

Was it the ground? Or the young man that literally took her breath away just by smiling?  
She couldn't tell.

Walking past the various signs advertising 'Stark' industries made her nauseous.

 _So many bright lights on one sign? Why would he want to do that?_

She stared into the sign beside her, acknowledging her appearance for the first time that night in the reflection.

Long, bouncy hazel hair strayed down her left shoulder when she took it out of its bun. A tightly fitted plain white dress hugged waist and chest, no one would think to notice it was a nurses uniform without the apron. Bethany just shrugged, it was the best she could do at short notice. Bethany continued on, delving deeper into the throng of people, pushing past excited couples hurrying to get to the Stark presentation. She didn't really care, she liked how peaceful how it was.

She willed herself to be more excited, but she just couldn't shake off Bucky's face from her memory.

 _It's not like I'll ever see him again_ , she thought, biting her lip with sunken desire.

 _Just a memory perhaps._

"What the hell are you doing with my girl?" a shout split the crowd, forming a circle around a small group of people.

Bethany, curious, walked up to the crowd.

 _Anything to keep my mind off-_ her thoughts halted.

Inside the circle stood 3 young men standing down 2 girls and another young, familiar man. The three imposing boys looked angry, glaring at the one man holding the two, embarrassed young women.  
Bucky smiled.

"I don't think these girls are exactly "yours"..." he commented with a smirk, but Bethany could see the small fear suddenly blossoming in his clear eyes.

"Well, we are engaged Margaret aren't we? Come here now so I can beat the crap out of this chump." the main boy growled, holding his hand out to the girl around Bucky's arm. She whimpered and complied, trotting pathetically over to her fiance, her friend high on her heels.

Bucky stood up straight, straightening his soldier jacket, obviously uncomfortable but keeping his composure.

The crowd ooed in anticipation.

Bethany looked on in horror. She was used to fights but this was unfair.

"You're a soldier? I don't think I'll sleep right tonight after knowing you like sleeping around with married women." the bully crudely commented, an smirk rising on his twisted face.

"Look pal I didn't know, I must've-"

"Must've what? Actually, I don't care. This'll teach you not to mess with me-"

Bethany suddenly found herself in the middle of the circle, holding onto Bucky for dear life.

"Honey! What are you doing? I know it's your last night but I told you not too much alcohol!" she giggled loudly, slapping his chest lightly, but hard enough for him to notice.

She looked up at him with a wide smile, completely fake, her eyes telling another story to his.

They were large and alert, signaling escape. Bucky looked down at her with complete bewilderment, but his eyes grew in sudden realization.

He grinned.

"Wow honey, you got me. Jeez, what a night." he blurted out, abruptly leaning against her with enough weight for Bethany to stumble. She glared.

"Sorry about the confusion, uh, sir, he must've thought it was me. What a stupid soldier you are my little Lucky Bucky." she apologized with a shy smile, struggling to keep him up straight. The bully stared in utter disgust and confusion, but shrugged them off without another word.

Bucky stumbled and sagged against her, really exaggerating the "drunk" act for their audience. She put his arm around her shoulders, and began to carry him out of the saddened crowd, disappointed with the outcome.

As she carried his weight he would continue to purposely droop his faceinto her bare neck, causing Bethany shiver at the touch of his soft lips smile against her skin. She would've clocked him square in the jaw, but to her horror, she embarrassingly adored it.

They carried on with the charade until they were out of sight of the promenade. They turned a corner into a quiet side alley, finally letting go of each other.

Bethany thanked the darkness, as she was hot and flushed from touching him for that long. Bucky turned around to face her, his smile brightening the empty lane.

"Thank you, that was an experience-"

"Don't mention it. I mean, ever, to anyone, please." she muttered, quickly noticing how silent it was, the music and noise playing in the distance.

He raised his eyebrows at her flustered state, but his grin persisted.

Bethany suddenly felt nervous, as an countless amount of people had noticed her. She wasn't suppose to draw a crowd, the Doctor would be furious.

"I uh, didn't catch your name." his gentle, raspy voice was suddenly so close she jumped. The ground shook ever so slightly in co-lesion with her shock.

"Bethany Summers. Nothing special, just your normal gal in New York City." she laughed nervously, edging slightly away from Bucky.

"James Barnes, friends call me Bucky. But we aren't friends are we?" he teased, his smile growing with the rise of her heartbeat.

He was so close to her, her hands clasped each other tightly as she stared at him.

"I need to go now. Very nice meeting you. Oh and next time you fancy a girl, please check if she's married or not. I won't be there all the time to get you out of a rut." she blurted with a flash of a smile, and began to quickly walk out of the dimly lit alleyway.

She couldn't look at him anymore. He gave her hope.

"Wait Beth, don't you want to talk? We are practically married now so I insist we spend the night together." Bucky called out jokingly, as she heard his footsteps follow closely behind her.

He lightly grabbed her hand to stop her hurried pace. Bethany turned around, her hand still in his. His eyes were luminous against the lights in the distance. Bucky looked so hopeful and young, holding her hand in the darkness.

It was too quiet, as she could feel the heart of New York pulsing under her feet, in the ground where a part of her belonged. What she was doing didn't belong, that wasn't her nature.

She WAS nature. This moment felt too dramatic and unreal.

"I can't James, it was nice meeting you." was all she said. Letting go of his hand, she walked off, once again clasping one hand in the other.

She couldn't just for one night. It wouldn't make sense. She would never see him again anyway, even if he thought it was a bit of fun.

As she clutched onto her hand, she could still feel the warmth of Bucky's touch against her skin, and made her way back to the Enlistment Center.


	2. Chapter 2

Days passed, and soon weeks. Bethany began to forget intentionally the short moment of happiness that Bucky Barnes gave her. There were more important things to focus on, like winning the war. Not impossible men.  
First day of training Super Soldiers was underway, the large young soldiers lined up to receive their first orders. All different sizes, but same build, the men seemed confident in their ability to be the potential victor. One, however, stood out from the rest. It was Steve, the small, fragile man that was bickering with Bucky. He looked ready for anything, ready to obey and comply, very small in his oversized uniform.  
The Doctor chose him for a reason, and Bethany felt it as well. But it was a long shot, and there was only one spot to be on top. His chances weren't looking so good.

"Why do I have to be here Doc? Isn't it illegal for me to be here anyway?" Bethany muttered, sitting on a parked military truck, unable to feel any enthusiasm. Her legs dangled off the edge of the cold metal like a child, bored and tired.  
She wore her usual attire when surrounded by soldiers, charcoal pants that reached up to her hips, black leather boots that snaked up her thighs and her custom-made pearl white, long sleeved shirt with black buttons embedded in the material at the sleeves and bodice. It wasn't revealing, but they were men. They just stared. It wasn't normal to have a woman watch them train, let alone be in the army. At least she still had Peggy, one of the best agents when it came to fighting wars and handling men.

"Miss Summers, as I have reminded you, the candidate will be paired up with you when the time comes to go on covert missions, to test the serum.  
It's crucial that you stay-" the Doctor began, but Bethany had to intervene.

"I understand Doc, I just need something to complain about."

Suddenly, the soldiers stood up straight, kicking their boots together, signaling an authority's prescience.  
Bethany turned around to see a small military vehicle park beside the truck she was perched on. Peggy Carter exited the vehicle, her attractive face strong and resilient. Fashioning a tight brown skirt and jacket, she walked over to the soldiers with integrity and precision. Checking their faces, Bethany noticed some smiles begin to form.

"My name is Agent Carter. I will be leading-"

"A woman leading? That doesn't sound right." one of the soldiers snickered.

Knowing Peggy, Bethany quickly began to regain her enthusiasm for the training that day. Beside her the Doctor sighed, his usual trait, and continued to write down on his notepad. As expected, the soldier was disciplined by Peggy in a rough fashion to Bethany's amusement. No soldier would oppose Peggy's authority after that day. Training continued, and every candidate had strengths and weaknesses.  
Especially Steve, much to Bethany's dismay. He was so puny, yet strong willed.

"He's the one." the Doctor said one night at dinner, sitting in their private cabin in comfortable silence.

"Steve?" Bethany questioned, but she already knew his answer. The Doctor always seemed to see the better in people, and make the most of it.

"He has the potential. We tell him tomorrow, hopefully he takes it well." he said, giving her a small smile, and began to eat again.

Bethany smiled back, but a microscopic feeling of dread began to form in her stomach.

 _Hopefully._

* * *

"You nervous?" Bethany asked, turning over in her seat to face Steve.

 _He looks so small for the car seat..._ she brushed off her worries with a smile. A flash of hesitation crossed his tight face, but his blue eyes lit up with anticipation.

"A little." he sighed, his pointy shoulders shrugging against the large back seat.

Peggy sat beside him, looking guiltily out the window. She had every reason to be, as the procedure hurt. Bethany should know. She went through something similar.

"You'll be okay Rogers, I bet you can handle it." Bethany encouraged, her smile growing with his.

He was so small. She just couldn't stop worrying.

Turning back around, she looked out the window, watching the grey buildings pass her by, something to take her mind of the numbing guilt that plagued her stomach.

Once arriving at the tailor shop that kept the secret facility safe, Bethany rushed in to find the Doctor. Pushing past scientists and military men, she found him the core of the facility with Howard Stark, a handsome young entrepreneur, who was helping with the experiment. He looked up from his work at Bethany with a curious smile.

"And who might this dashing young gal be?" he grinned, his sea blue eyes glowing with something Bethany didn't recognize.

"Out of your league." she replied with a smirk, watching his smile grow on his attractive face.

"Bethany you shouldn't be down here." the Doctor whispered worringly, guiding her to the stairs.

"Yes but it's about Steve-"

"What about me?" Steve asked, walking down the stairs towards them. Bethany looked up and grimaced. He was such a kind soul, it wasn't fair that he had to be put through all this.

"Nothing Rogers, just discussing the calculations of things that I don't understand." she lied with a encouraging smile, tapping his back playfully as he descended the steps past her.

"C'mon Summers, I heard you say my first name. That counts for something, right?" he joked, his small frame shaked as he chuckled.

Unable to bear any more friendly conversation, Bethany joined Peggy and the other military officials on the balcony. Peggy, obviously nervous, grabbed Bethany's hand. She squeezed her soft hand in support, waiting for the operation to take place.

On the balcony Bethany observed the scene, so many computers and machines it was hard to take it all in. Steve undressed and placed himself in the human sized pod. It looked like a flytrap, and he was the prey. The Doctor and Stark began to press buttons and pull levers, undergoing the transformation. Bethany took one last look at Steve and gave him a thumbs up. He flashed a small smile as the lid closed over his tiny body. She let out a sigh, noticing the tenseness of Peggy's body beside her. Both woman wanted this to work, as Steve was unlike any young man they had ever come to meet.

The countdown began. With each number Bethany's heart beat faster. Finally at zero, Stark pulled the lever as the lights began to flicker.  
Steve started screaming, much to Bethany's dismay. His screams ripped through her ears and eyes.

"Oh God, stop it! You'll kill him!" Peggy yelled, removing herself from her seat with alertness and panic.

Bethany looked up at her with sadness. _It might be too late._

Stark looked at the Doctor with wide eyes, unable to figure out what to do.

"Keep going! I can take it!" Steve suddenly shouted over the noise of circuits breaking and lights smashing.

They all waited, inspired by his courage and perseverance for such a small human being, till the casket began to open.

Bethany's eye widened at the sight. She wasn't prepared for this. It wasn't the small, frail Steve she was so worried about. It was someone else. The man enclosed in the pod was built like a tank, every muscle in his body was shaped and formed into something spectacular. His face seemed to fit on his body more accurately, everything was molded perfectly. He struggled to open his eyes, but when he did they were a teal blue, shining and tired. He was so tall and big, everything a Super Soldier should be. Before she knew what she was doing, Bethany was downstairs, jumping onto Steve with such hurriedness, trying to accept what just happened.

"Summers? I'm glad to see you too." Steve sleepily smiled, hugging back with such force Bethany nearly coughed.

"You're so...big." Bethany breathed, her eyes lighting up excitedly.

"You did it Rogers, welcome to the program."

He smiled with her, as she finally let out the breath she was holding in. Everything is going to change for the better, she thought happily. I won't be the only one going through this anymore. That's an achievement in itself. Peggy was rushing down the stairs to see Steve up close, her brown eyes filled with reassurance.

"Steve, IM glad..." Peggy muttered, her words lost in the awe that was Steve Rogers.  
Feeling suddenly awkward, Bethany left them alone with a grin.

"Doc! You did it, this is amazing i can't wait-"

"Bethany, WE did it." he said with a laugh, grabbing her shoulders with proudness.

The look in his eyes reminded her of the last time he felt this success, the morning she woke up from her experiment.

It gave her warm feeling.  
She felt like she was finally content.

In all the commotion, with everyone congratulating each other, Stark laughing with his scientist team, Steve and Peggy falling madly in love, and the Doctor watching in pure happiness, Bethany heard something irregular. It was a small ticking, so small she wouldn't have noticed it before. The irregular ticking didn't fit with the beeping machines or the sound of the feet above the ground. It was something else, something dangerous.

Suddenly the sound of the room disappeared and only the loud noise of an explosion and gunfire erupted form the balcony. Everyone, still in shock, fell to the ground. Bethany shouted for the Doctor to get down, and tried to pull him away. Bethany tried to speak but everything hurt. The noise was splitting her mind open, so loud, so deafening. She couldn't see, but in the blur she saw a man, pointing a small pistol straight at the Doctor.

"No. No. No. No!" Bethany began to scream. Everything was a blur but she knew who the gunshots were for.

She felt searing hot pain in her hands and feet, everything seemed to merge as her hands touched the cold concrete floor of the clinic. She just wanted to see. Doctor Abraham Erkstine fell heavily beside her, and through her messy eyesight she saw red.

"Doctor!" she heard Steve yell in the distance, suddenly he was beside her cradling the body.

Bethany's vision began to clear form the explosion, but it didn't make anything better, only worse. Two gaping bullet holes protruded from his chest, the crimson blood seeping into his white lab coat.

"Dad! Dad please..." Bethany cried, hot tears trickling down her swollen face.

As the Doctor began to fade away, he struggled to raise his hand, and pointed at her heart, then Steve's. Before she could understand anything, his dark eyes lost their light.

Nothingness resided in Bethany's heart. She felt remorse and pain. Too much pain. She didn't care what he meant.

 _The assassin was going to die._

Steve was gone before she could even notice his absence, but that didn't matter.

 _The assassin was going to die._

She planted her palms calmly to the lab floor, reaching into the earth below the frozen concrete and pipe works.

 _The assassin was going to die._

Her hands turned into fists, mentally grabbing the earth beneath the building, systematically causing the room to violently shake.

"She trying to weave! Where's the anesthetic?!" someone shouted in the distance.

Bethany didn't care.

 _The assassin was going to die._

The ground shook roughly, as the walls and roof started to crack. Beads of sweat began to form on her forehead, slowly lifting the earth to bend to her will and wants. She didn't care that she couldn't properly control it with this much concrete preventing her from doing so.  
She screamed, an ear piercing wail erupted around the room. Everyone was shouting and shaking. The cracks in the walls began to grow as she raised the earth from the lab.

Suddenly a sharp, cold pain bloomed from her neck, as the sleeping drug took effect immediately. For the second time that day, Bethany couldn't see as she blacked out, her body splayed beside her beloved Doctor.


	3. Chapter 3

Everything was cold in the hospital bed. The sheets were thin, the air was brisk but Bethany's cheeks were warm and inflated. She had cried as soon as she awoke from her induced sleep. Her memory was groggy but she knew what happened to the Doctor. It gave her a splitting headache.

She just wanted to sleep. The murder took place a week ago, as Bethany had been hospitalized from her injuries trying to summon an earthquake. It took everything out of her, mentally and physically. She was to be nursed back to health in the following weeks to come.  
Steve visited her as soon as she woke up, even through the exhaustion she appreciated his presence.

"Did you catch him?" she mumbled tiredly, unable to concentrate. Her hands felt like sandpaper and her legs numb, but she bared through it.

"Yeah. He...killed himself before we could get anything useful off of him." Steve said slow and carefully, his bright eyes full of sorrow.

Bethany's lip began to quiver.

"Did he at least say anything?"

Steve hesitated.

"Hail Hydra. That's all he said." Steve said even slower, caution laced with every word.

She knew he didn't want to set her off. She couldn't even if she wanted to. She couldn't feel the Earth no matter what she tried.

 _Hydra?_ The name made her want to spit even though she was restrained from doing so.

"Those stupid Nazi pricks? God, when I get out of this bed..." she growled, her words sharp as knives. Swearing wasn't in her nature, but this felt like the time for it.

"Beth don't do anything you'll regret-"

"You're kidding right? You wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for my father." she spat, her words pouring venomously from her mouth.

The pain was too much for Bethany to care about Steve being offended. He wasn't, it seemed, as his eyes grew sadder and sadder.

"Beth, Hydra is an army. Not a group. A whole army. You can't do that by yourself."

"Why do you think we were made? To be icons? To be toy soldiers? No Rogers. To fight wars. And now we have a better reason-"

"That was when Dr Ekstine...look, the General gave me an offer." Steve said with an harsh sigh, standing up to stare out the window of the infirmary.

He had a cold frown planted on his chiseled face. Worry blossomed from her sore chest.

"He said I could either be tested on in the lab for another serum, which could take years...or I help our country find it's feet in the war by promoting our campaign." he said, his eyes still fixated outside the room.

Bethany felt like crying, but there were no more tears to shed.

"So what? You'll wear tights and dance around like a fucking idiot? I can't believe- I didn't want to believe this would happen. You're a Super Soldier goddammit!" Bethany screamed, slamming her fists down on each side like a child.

She couldn't breathe properly, everything seemed so surreal and lost. She didn't want to breathe. There was no need to.

"Beth, this is my choice. I'd rather be doing something than nothing. I'm sorry." Steve said with a hard tone, resolute but painful.

After an earsplitting silence, Bethany couldn't take it anymore.

"Get out. Don't come back. Please don't come back." she whispered.

Without another word, Steve left the silent hospital room. It felt colder now.

* * *

MONTHS LATER

* * *

"Bethany Summers? Is that you?" an familiar British voice called from across the camp.

Bethany looked up from the map she was studying to see Peggy Carter quickly walking over, covered in a professional red office suit hugging her figure nicely.

"Peggy! Where have you been my girl?" Bethany grinned, standing to embrace her ex colleague.

Peggy grinned back, her white brilliant teeth flashing in the grotty winter weather.

"You know, around. What are you doing here?" Peggy asked sitting down beside Bethany and her complicated map.

"After everything, I was assigned special ops missions, you know, the usual infiltrate and clean out Hydra camps. But things got messy with the recent events..." Bethany trailed off, her voice getting smaller as she saw a familiar figure in his stupid blue tights.

Steve, holding his fake shield and cap, walked somberly into the camp she was situated in. She heard Peggy gasp beside her, seemingly shocked to see him here as well.

"What's he doing here." Bethany blatantly asked, going back to her map.

"He might get his tights wet."

Peggy smiled but didn't reply, instead walked over to where he disappeared. Bethany didn't care. Her map was more important.

Little Hydra symbols littered the map, which Europe was printed in all its glory. Some of the icons were crossed out, others with question marks.

"Colonel. What happened to the recent unit that went into Hydra territory?" a familiar voice called urgently, his footsteps growing louder and louder in the mud.

Soon enough, Steve was standing over Colonel Chester Phillips, with a look of worry and impatience. Phillips looked up from the bigger map he was studying. The tent they all presided in was small, as Steve loomed over everyone like a building. It was distracting.

"Son, I think you should go back to your fancy show. Those men need you sing-songs and all-"

"At least show me a name. One name and i'll leave you alone."

Phillips grunted, but Bethany, pretending not to listen, knew exactly what name he wanted to hear. She tried to erase it from memory, but to no avail.

"What name, Rogers?"

"James Buchanan Barnes, sir."

Bethany shuddered.

The Colonel's old eyes creased together, trying to remember if he wrote the letter. Bethany was on the edge of her uncomfortable seat, unable to breathe.

"Let me check." he finally grunted, searching through scattered papers.

"Barnes, Barnes, Barnes- yeah here it is. Sorry Rogers, looks like he didn't make it."

Bethany's chest tightened. She let out a loud, sharp breath, alerting Steve. He looked at her, and she finally looked at him. To her surprise he didn't look upset. He looked...determined.

"Sir, I don't believe in that. I believe you should reconsider taking a team over to-"

"What gives you the right to give orders? You're just a show monkey! Even if we did want to help we would lose more men then rescuing. I'm not risking those odds." Phillips grunted frustratingly, pointing at the map then back at Steve.

After a long pause, Steve looked Bethany square in the eye, a look she had never seen him give.

"I'm willing to risk those odds sir."

* * *

"What the hell do you think you're doing Rogers?" Bethany exclaimed angrily, struggling to keep up as Steve quickly strode over to an unmanned military car.

"I'm saving my friend. I saw you Summers, you know him too. I don't know how, but you know him."

It was raining now, everything was wet and clotted. The Earth beneath her felt alive and muddy. It twisted beneath her, exactly like her stomach at his observation.

"You told me months ago, you said I shouldn't take on an army. Now look at you." she exclaimed nervously, changing the subject at her expense.

Steve grasped he wheel tightly in his hands.

"This is different. Men we need are alive out there. This is our chance to prove we are actually worth something."

Bethany glared, her eyelashes covered in cold raindrops, obscuring some of her vision.

"You mean YOUR chance. I've already been proving mine-"

"By what? Small missions? You need something big Summers, and you know it." he said with a final tone, his words strong against her ears.

Wiping at the stray hairs plastered to her face, Bethany silently got into the car, unable to think of another solution. Steve revved the automobile, ready to leave, but stopped as soon as Peggy grabbed his large wrist.

"Steve! Bethany! You can't do this." she said hurriedly, looking from Bethany to Steve.

"Peggy were capable-"

"Not alone." Peggy said, her wide brown eyes shining with a plan.

* * *

Bethany hated planes.

Never could stand being so far from the ground that helped her survive. Refusing to take the plane with Stark, Peggy and Rogers seemed like the best course of action. But that meant figuring out a way to meet Steve at the right place to infiltrate the Hydra facility properly.

With one gloved hand pressed to the ground Bethany closed her eyes and focused. Holding her breath, she tried to pick up Steve landing some where in the distance, a couple of miles off where she crouched. The wind from the trees that surrounded her grew silent, the cold breeze of the night dying down with her energy pulse. Her eyes flashed open, knowing the exact location of Rogers, and set off building up dirt and rubble to carry her like a wave. The wind picked up again, hastening her ride, blowing her tight braid from side to side. It was so peaceful, the calm before the storm.

"You're late." Steve commented with a slight grin, wearing his costume from the shows and a random hard hat. The costume surprisingly fit him so well, Bethany never noticed before, as she would try to avoid watching the shows.

"Fake shield? Really? That's a bit pathetic don't ya think." she replied with a cheeky smirk, the tension she created months ago starting to ease from the excitement of looming battle.

"Hey, i'll take anything I can get."

"That's for sure."

Steve's perfect face crinkled in the darkness.

"What's that suppose to mean?"


	4. Chapter 4

After hijacking an Hydra truck, Steve and Bethany finally made it inside the compound.

"Alright Rogers, what's the plan?" Bethany whispered as they quickly escaped from the back of the parked truck.

The camp smelt like steel and smoke, the air was brisk and frozen. Bethany could feel a large quantity of boots stamp across the uneven ground all around the facility.  
The odds didn't feel so good.

"Alright, we both locate the prisoners and help them escape. If Buck's in here, i'll find him." Steve replied with a low tone, analyzing their surroundings with a concentrated frown.

"Aye aye. I'll find the prisoners, might be a problem reaching them though." Bethany noted, crouching down once again to uncover the location of the soldiers.

Her hand clasped the ground, feeling the energy and the pulse surrounding her. Searching though the Earth's vibration, She felt the presence of a clump of weight, each in groups close together on the south side of the facility.  
Opening her eyes, she indicated to Steve to move out.

Rounding the corner, two guards lay in their wake.  
Nodding to each other, Steve starts to run, holding his shield out ready to smash into one of the guards. Bethany however swept her hands from the ground towards the other unsuspecting soldier, flicking two sharp pieces of gravel in her wake. Both shards split through him, as blood decorated the neutral ground. Steve, taken care of the other guard a little more noisier than Bethany, nodded at their accomplishment.

Sharing a small smile, they both set off deeper into the facility.

* * *

"And who are you suppose to be?" one of the prisoners questioned, walking behind Bethany as they began to spill outside the prison cells.

"US Forces. Be grateful, not curious." Bethany answered, rolling her eyes with irritation.

Some of the men chuckled behind her. As soon as all the US soldiers were free, fights began to spread across the camp. Hand to hand combat, guns and even new weapons Bethany had never seen. Her order was to evacuate as much as she could. Steve's mission was to find Bucky. She wished it was her mission as well, but she knew he most likely had it handled. Most likely.

"Alright everyone, grab what you can and run towards the escape route me and Cap planned out. Remember, protect me while I get us out of here. Let's go!" she shouted over the commotion.

Everyone began to yell and run, grabbing the futuristic guns lying on the experiment tables, while Bethany ran towards the doors outside to do the real damage. Feeling the rock and gravel interlaced between her heel and the ground, Bethany lifted her hand, the earth rising with the motion. Some men stopped in awe, watching the world weaver in her element. She splayed and pushed her hands out in front of her, feeling the pressure of the rock even though there was nothing physically in front of her. Her hands and feet were softly vibrating as the rock followed her commands,  
rising from the ground in an controlled stream, aiming for the main steel gates blocking their escape.  
The gates easily gave in to the rush and pressure of the earth, the noise piercing but rewarding. She kept the stream going until the gates were broken completely, dropping her hands in slight exhaustion. The rocks came to a slow stop, no more motion, except for the battle taking place around her.  
At least the men obeyed her order, Bethany thought with a small smile, breaking into a sprint. She signaled all the free soldiers to stop fighting and start moving.

As the soldiers started to break off from the battle, abrupt explosions shook the facility, causing the shouting to rise even higher.  
Bethany stared wide eyed in horror.

 _Steve._

She started running back from the gate, surging earth beneath her feet helping her sprint faster. Random Hydra men came from different directions, slowing her process.  
Quickly ducking behind an tank caught ablaze, Bethany, pounded her fists into the dirt, one last weaver maneuver. Chunks of rubble and dirt magnetized to her fist, then her wrists, creating massive rock gloves, surging with energy and Earth. Bolting out of position, Bethany swung will all her might, clocking Hydra agents with such strength she heard cracks.

Ducking under fire, she tried to run to the gaping hole in one of the prison walls. Running to the burning edge, she quickly scanned her surroundings, any sign of one or two figures. The flames were licking up the insides, consuming everything and everyone.

Her hope slowly dwindled, her frantic eyes searching everywhere for Steve or Bucky. Everything started to collapse, the roof ultimately about to cave in. Her eyes filled with tears from the roaring smoke and sadness consuming her chest.  
 _Not again._

"Lucky Bucky!" she heard a shout under the sound of explosions, a joking but panicked sound. She squinted into the distance to see two figures, one slouched but holding on for dear life, and another blue figure.  
Steve and Bucky.  
The roof began to cave in, slowly descending on the two running men.

"RUN!" Bethany screamed into the fire, her heart racing.

They won't make it. I have to try, she thought with pure horror.  
She shook off the rock gloves, they crumpled to the ground with a thud. Planting her feet as strongly as she could, Bethany focused on the steel roof reaching Bucky and Steve. Slowly rising her hands, motioning something being lifted, Bethany screamed in agony as she tried to lock onto the earth minerals in the structure. It was a tiny quantity, but it felt like she was being ripped apart. Dissecting the steel and metal tore her mind into separate pieces for a brief moment, but in a split second she found her footing, twisting one foot to keep the building elevated.

Everything began to collapse around her, her body shut down with the pain and effort. She didn't even notice Steve and Bucky lift her up as she fell.

The darkness quickly enveloped her vision as she passed out of consciousness.

* * *

"Is she dead?" a voice asked through the blackness.

"No. If she's dead she wouldn't be breathing."

"If you really think shes dead I could perform CPR-"

"She doesn't even need CPR."

"Just in case."

"Don't touch an unconscious woman you animal. Just let her recover." the familiar voice snapped, the words protective and secure.

Each tone pulled Bethany out of unconsciousness, as she slowly began to open her eyes. A large group of men surrounded her, each with their eyes fixated on hers.

"What a dream this is." she muttered, her head spinning as she tried to rise from the ground.

Surprisingly it wasn't the ground, it was something cold and hard against her uncovered back.

"Rise and shine B, welcome to reality." the familiar voice chimed from directly above her.

She looked up slowly, staring in amazement as Bucky grinned down at her, his eyes shining exactly like the night they met.

His face was full of soot and dirt, he had grown little bits of stubble around his handsome face, his brown hair hung limply across his forehead. He looked like hadn't showered in months.

She loved it.

"James?" she breathed, unable to comprehend his presence.

"I told you B, it's Bucky." his smile grew, and so did her headache.

"But we're married remember, I can call you special names..." Bethany slowly laughed, her head suddenly making her think funny thoughts.

His smile quickly formed into concern.

"I think she's delirious. Does anyone have any water?" he asked impatiently, looking around frantically.

Her head moved slightly when he did, as she gradually figured out why.

"James, is my head on your lap?" she whispered,her voice unable to speak any louder.

"B just sleep okay i'll find some water- someone ask Steve if he has anything, just pass it down the line..." his words began to fade as Bethany giggled at his stupid answer.

Everything was clear and fuzzy at the same time, nothing made sense but sleep. Sleep always made sense to Bethany.


	5. Chapter 5

Bethany felt something cold against her lips, a moist sensation that shook her to the core. Her heavy eyes flew open, coughing and spluttering out the uncomfortable substance as it seeped down her unprepared throat. A sudden roar of claps and shouts of excitement erupted in her fragile ears, causing her wince. The sound was so close...

"She's awake boys! Nicely done Barnes." a distant voiced echoed, slowly peeling away the tiredness from her vision.

Bethany gradually sat up straight, not exactly focused or steady.

"Whoa there B, you might still be a little delirious. Lay back down, I really don't mind..." once again the familiar, comforting voice awoke her from the grogginess.

Bethany shuddered the fatigued feeling out of her system, taking a moment to analyse her surroundings. She was in the back of an unfamiliar truck, surrounded by the men she fought with at the Hydra camp. Trees surrounded the truck, with one small rocky road guiding a massive line of vehicles. Men populated each pickup, while some men walked slowly beside the machines, conversing with one another about the battle or Captain America.

In her truck, Bethany didn't recognize anyone, just Bucky who was holding her upright.

"Wait...what." she suddenly choked, loosening his grip on her with a weak swipe.

She collapsed to the metal floor, feeling the sudden sharp pain shoot through her lower body.

He stared at her wide-eyed, holding a metal flask in the other hand. Concern decorated his handsome face, his eyebrows knit together with worry.

"Beth it's okay, it's just me." he said, holding out his hand to help her up once more.

Men ringed her position in the boot of the truck, with faces of worry and confusion. Even though her exasperation hadn't worn off completely, Bethany had one clear warning stuck in her mind; _don't touch Bucky._

"I, uh, I'll be okay. The floor is nice and cold and nauseating- I think i'm ready to vomit." she mumbled abruptly.

It was either her drained form or the feeling of laying on Bucky that made her sick, Bethany couldn't decide.

"You've been out for a couple of miles, I just gave you some water-"

"Where's Steve." Bethany interrupted bluntly, holding one hand to her head to keep it from mentally falling off.

Unable to look at Bucky directly, she stared at the metal floor with a clouded expression. But even then, she could still feel his sudden change of expression from where she crouched.

She felt a growing frustration develop from within the pit of her stomach.

"He's at the front of the line. Did you want me to help you-"

"I can take care of myself Barnes." she snapped, her face rising with heat from the harshness of her words.

It felt so cold in that moment, not from the damp weather, but from Bethany's unexplained frustration. It felt wrong but it made sense.  
 _No contact. Nothing has changed._  
The atmosphere changed drastically in the back of the truck. Everyone fell silent, observing the scene and two participants with weary eyes.

After a short, uncomfortable stillness, she felt Bucky shrug sharply within the tension. He crossed his arms tightly, and looked elsewhere, a blank expression plastered to his face.  
A stinging pain coarsed through Bethany, a horrible feeling of guilt. But it was for the better.  
The rest of the trip should've felt like a victory, everyone else was celebrating, chanting and singing in victory.  
Only Bucky and Bethany remained stubbornly quiet.

It didn't feel like she won anything.

The dizziness disappeared after a couple more miles, as the scenery never changed.

It was calming, something to focus on instead of changing terrain. The bumpiness of the truck stuck to its own rhythm, comforting her buzzing thoughts. Every one in a while, when Bucky seemed preoccupied, she couldn't help herself but observe him from the other side of the vehicle where he wouldn't notice.

His arms were outstretched on either side, keeping his overworked body upright in one corner of the truck. He wore a rugged steel-grey woolen jumper with tears and holes, rusted blood covering each opening. He seemed distracted, staring off into the distance with his illuminating azure eyes. His greasy, short brown hair hung limply on his forehead, and at times he would brush it back with a worn hand.  
It gave Bethany shivers, every motion, every particle seemed too surreal to comprehend.

Even though he was dirty and tattered, he looked so handsome in each moment she stared.

 _Stop it, you idiot, this isn't worth your time,_ she firmly thought to herself.

 _The damage is done._

Bethany placed her head on her knees, curling into herself, her hands interlaced with each other to keep her legs from separating.

The day was already dull with the weather, slow drops of rain would pour into her lap, dampening her ruined uniform. Her leather boots were sticky and freezing, and her chestnut hair cemented to her frigid face didn't help the uncomfortable feeling.  
Steve was situated at the head of the truck line, most likely guiding everyone back to the US camp. Bethany was in no shape to try and get out of the truck to reunite Steve.

It surprised her that Bucky wasn't with him; they were best friends after all.

Slowly Bethany decided to doze off, her head drooping on her knees until her tired eyes failed to open. It was a long day, mentally and physically.  
She needed to escape reality for a couple more hours.

* * *

C'mon Summers, we made it." a gentle voice woke Bethany from her slumber, her presence groggy but alert.

Rubbing her eyes she glanced around, and found herself in an familiar camp, surrounded by the rescued soldiers with elevated spirits.

Steve held out his hand at the foot of the truck, helping her plant her feet on solid ground. There were so many men, each excited and animated, disregarding what they had just been though.

"Job well done, Rogers?" Bethany joked, lighting punching Steve's hard shoulder.

He smiled at her gesture, but he had a determined look in his eye, something she was growing to admire and accept.

"Let's hope the Colonel thinks so too." he replied, briefly sighing.

He strode off into the crowd of men, as they respectively moved aside for the Captain.

Leaning against the truck, Bethany crossed her arms to observe, and waited patiently for Steve to return.

Some soldiers would walk up to Bethany and thank her for what she did, and in return she would give them a small smile and nod in appereciation. Everyone was waiting for the Colonel's response to Steve and Bethany's defiance standing in the swampy mud.

To her shared delight and disappointment, Bucky was nowhere to be seen, most likely looking for Steve for a proper reunion.

Suddenly, the crowd began to separate, revealing Steve, tall, wet and muddy, standing in front of his men with Bucky by his side.  
He looked stern but proud by his best friend's side, as Bethany watched and adored.  
Phillips finally came into view, a look of shock and distaste painted over his worn face.  
The crowd fell silent, waiting for his words.

"I'm sorry Colonel. If I am discharged from duty for disobeying orders I understand." Steve spoke, his words unfaltering and loud.

After a tense moment of stillness, Phillips sighed, and placed his hand on Steve's shoulder.

"You did well, soldier."

The silence was ruptured with shouts of joy as everyone began to applaud and roar in celebration. A smile broke through Steve's hard expression, infecting Bethany with a smile herself.

"Let's hear it for Captain America!" Bucky shouted in unison with the noise, and the men cheers rose stronger and louder against the rain that started to fall.

"Wait. Someone else deserves this praise as much as I do. Bethany Summers." Steve cut off the shouts with an loud announcement, turning his attention towards her.

Every eye was on her, and simultaneously she began to blush. She started directly at Steve, unable to look at any of the faces concentrating on her presence.  
His eyes were encouraging, the reassuring blue made her heart rise with confidence.

"Yeah, I guess I helped. But Rogers thought of the plan, and he had the guts to go through with the mission. Something I didn't have. Steve is the real hero here boys, I was just the hired thug...and I don't even mind at all." Bethany grinned, her smile spreading to Steve's supportive expression.

Once again, the camp courtyard filled with noises of triumph, as the soldiers celebrated once again their surreal victory.

She watched in increasing glee, as the sight of everyone's happiness filled her with hope.

Something she hadn't felt in a long while.

* * *

"Thank you Beth, that was truly inspiring for a hired thug." Steve teased, dispersing from the surging crowd, joining Bethany in her quiet corner.

"Your welcome Captain Steve. To be completely honest, I really didn't want to steal your thunder." she laughed, her eyes connecting with his.

"Steve? I thought my name was Rogers to you."

"Alright Rogers, if that's what you want."

They both chuckled, and a brief moment of comfortable stillness passed between them. It was nice, no blushing or fretting, just healthy silence filled with respect.

"Am I interrupting something?" Bucky interjected, walking up to Bethany and Steve cautiously, with his hand in his pockets and a suggestive smile.

"Nothing Buck, just congratulating Summers." Steve replied, standing upright to welcome his friend.

Bethany glanced at Bucky briefly with a slight nod in his direction. Looking directly at her, he kept his sly smile in response. But there was something else to it, Bethany realized, as his eyes were glazed over suggesting a different attitude entirely...

"Yeah, nice job Summers. You really pulled through today. You and Steve make a great team." he commented, his eyes glowing with alertness.

He smirked at Steve, to which the Captain frowned.

Bethany glared at his sudden insulting attitude.

"I don't understand Barnes-"

"Oh but I do. Good luck Steve, she seems like a keeper." Bucky finished abruptly, solidly shaking Steve's hand with a grin, and walked back the way he came.

As anger began to cloud Bethany's thoughts, she thought she saw the shadow of Bucky's hands in his pockets turn to fists, disappearing into the throng of soldiers.

"That was interesting." Steve commented, his marble face twisted into a confused frown.

"I wouldn't use that particular word for it." Bethany replied, trying to conceal her growing glare.

 _It was fair,_ she thought, _it's better now that he hates me_. _Nothing to be worked up about._

 _Nothing at all._


	6. Chapter 6

"Peggy i'm not wearing this." Bethany moaned in frustration, gawking at the stranger in the mirror.

"I don't think my chest is suppose to do that-"

"You'll be fine Bethany, trust me. I'll be right beside you." Peggy chimed, putting her soft hands delicately on Bethany's exposed shoulders.

The women stood in front of the long, oval mirror, inspecting their glamorous attire.

Peggy wore a tightly fitted crimson dress, revealing her pearl-white chest. Chocolate, wavy hair bounced just above her perky shoulders, shaping her sharp, handsome face.

"You look amazing Peggy, but I look like a whor-"

"You look lovely Beth. I think us girls deserve to turn heads tonight." Peggy smiled brightly, her rose lips matching her lacy attire perfectly.

Bethany sighed heavily with envy.

Glancing away from the angelic Peggy, Bethany took a moment to accept what the other woman had forced her to wear.  
Dressed head to toe in blue, the taut dress clung to her hips and bodice. Her chest seemed to spill from the edge of the fabric, giving the feeling like it would release at any time. The dress was shiny, made of silk as it stretched to her stiff knees. Her short sleeves were puffy yet elegant, revealing the rest of her worn arms.  
Bethany's coiled hair spilled down her shoulders, a bronze splash of color against the navy blue.  
Red glowed from her cheeks, concealing her flushed face well.

"This is too much Peggy, I've never dressed this nice for a BAR." Bethany persisted, her efforts growing more and more futile.

She knew Peggy. There was no reasoning with that woman.

"Put on the lipstick I chose for you. It suits your dress." Peggy ordered, ignoring her pleas and marched out the cabin door with authority.

"Yes m'am." Bethany muttered with playful annoyance, reaching for the coral lipstick shining on the dresser beside her.

* * *

The night was brisk against Bethany's bare skin, sending shivers down her spine and exposed chest.

The Ugly Duckling Bar was in sight, sounds of laughter and music roaring in the distance. The sign advertising the Ugly Duckling was worn down and old, but the bar never seemed more alive.  
Embarrassment rose like a tidal wave in Bethany's chest, blushing furiously from the cold and the humiliation.

"Chin up Bethany. Confidence is the key to success." Peggy encouraged, holding her head high against the chilled darkness.

Disoriented men decorated the front of the establishment, mostly standing around celebrating their recent victory against Hydra. Some were shouting out jokes while others howled inaudible songs with pride.

"Bloody animals." Peggy muttered with a smirk as they sauntered up to the bar door.

Bethany stifled a laugh, too frightened to relax as the dress could tear itself in half.

The men stopped their noisy behavior to stare in shock at the two ladies, moving aside to let them enter. Bethany's breath was caught in her throat, as her face felt like it would explode at any moment with heat.

"Bethany you need to relax. You've fought in wars for Christ's sake, loosen up this instant!" Peggy insisted, a sharp edge cut through her calm demeanor.

Bethany nodded, swallowing her fears with one gulp, realizing Peggy's demands felt more disheartening than a bit of skin showing.

They walked through the bar, seemingly stealing the noise from the wide room. The soldiers fell silent at their presence, their large eyes growing with each step. One dark look from Peggy abruptly snapped them out of their memorization, closing their mouths and went back to their games and songs.

"Peggy?" an recognizable voice echoed, moving the girls attention to the other side of the bar.  
Standing at the counter was Steve, dressed head to toe in professional military attire. Badges decorated his chest, each acknowledging an different achievement. He looked bewildered, staring directly at Peggy with astonishment.

He looked handsome, Bethany pondered, grinning like an idiot with his heart exposed for everyone to see.

"Steve." Peggy replied with a gentle smile, obviously enamored with him.

"Bucky." another voiced chimed in, plainly full of sarcasm.

Bethany mentally winced as Bucky revealed himself behind Steve, stepping up beside his friend.

He was grinning his stupid grin, his azure eyes glowing drunkenly from the dim bar lights. He looked tired, as the stubble was still present from the last time Bethany saw him. His hair was combed however, brushed back to clean up his form. Like Steve, he also wore formal military attire, excluding the many badges.

It made Bethany furious at how gorgeous he was. Even when he was completely intoxicated.

His unfocused eyes danced from Steve to Peggy with childish delight, then finally to Bethany. She stared back quietly, blushing furiously as his eyes paused. For a hesitant moment Bethany imagined his eyes sobering for a split second...

"Summers, what a delight." Bucky grinned, breaking the silence with drunk mockery.

Bethany flared up, her eyes slanting in disgust.

"Barnes. A fantastic pleasure." she mumbled, her eyes concentrating on anything else but him.

Peggy and Steve, making small conversation beside them, as they didn't seem to notice the constant tension beginning to build.

"What brings you to a dirty place like this? Aren't you better than that?" he teased softly, his eyes shining.

"I just wanted one night to relax I guess. But now that you're here I guess I should leave." she snapped, as her patience began to run short.

She didn't want this. _Not tonight._

"But the night's just getting started Miss Summers, there are so many married women here for me to take home tonight." Bucky muttered with a sloppy wink, turning back to the bar counter with a smirk.

Bethany let out an impatient sigh, her anger rising rapidly with every sarcastic comment that flew out of his obnoxious mouth.

"You're such a gentlemen, Barnes. you always know what gets to a woman's heart." Bethany hissed, turning on her heel in exasperation.

 _That's enough,_ she fumed angrily to herself, storming out of the Ugly Duckling, and into the cold street outside.

 _He had every right to be rude,_ she frustratingly reminded herself, _you shouldn't be offended._  
 _It's better like this._


	7. Chapter 7

Bethany stood alone outside the bar in complete silence.

The wind had died down from before, welcoming the fog to take over the empty street she sulked in.  
The drunk soldiers from before had most likely gone inside, allowing her to be alone with her conflicting thoughts.

She deserved this.

Her attitude was blunt and cruel to nearly everyone she met since the Doctor was murdered so many months ago.

 _Bucky didn't deserve this._

 _Deserve what exactly? This was nothing, their relationship was nothing, there was no_ _existing relationship in the first place_ , Bethany thought with growing frustration.  
 _Bucky's gonna get over it, whatever IT is_ , she decided.

Tiredness plagued her judgement, as too many emotions in such a short time gave her an headache.

The door of the bar suddenly opened, causing Bethany to jolt in surprise. Her eyes widened as Bucky took a step out of the entry way, rubbing his hands in an effort to warm himself against the cold.  
He looked worried, his eyes darting from side to side, until he spotted Bethany.

"There you are B, I wanted to explain myself." Bucky called, jogging over to her with a look of concern.

He seemed to balance himself well much to Bethany's confusion, he gave no sign he was intoxicated at all.

 _He should been swaying right now,_ she reflected, _he even had that senseless look in his eye just moments_ _ago..._

Bucky came to a stop in front of Bethany, causing her to straighten her posture to prepare for his presence.  
 _He was tall, not as towering like Steve, but still tall_ , she reflected, as her head only reached his sturdy chin.

 _Why is he here?_

"What is it Barnes? Did something happen..." her voiced trailed off with immediate panic.

 _Something must've happened._

"Is everyone alright-" she started to push past him worriedly as dangerous scenarios blossomed behind her eyes.

Before she could act Bucky suddenly seized her bare arm, transmitting pleasant waves of warmth throughout her body.

It gnawed at her frozen bones, and as much as she didn't want to push away the guilty pleasure, she wrenched her arm out of his grasp.

"Everyone is fine... Actually, I think everyone inside are more than fine." Bucky muttered, hanging the rejected hand loosely by his side.

Bethany glared up at his shimmering eyes, confused by his bipolar behavior.

 _He wasn't drunk anymore, but how was that possible?_

She had many questions, but it suddenly felt impossible to conjure up a normal sentence.

It was just too cold.  
He averted his eyes to the ground, seemingly embarrassed by their contact.  
Her glare twisted into a scowl, her building anger fueling the heat directly into her makeup covered cheeks.

"What's wrong then Barnes? I don't have time for your stupid jokes-"

"Please B, it's Bucky." he interrupted, finally locking his eyes onto hers with frustration.

This was getting out of hand, nothing made sense as she felt herself about to burst open in anger.

"I don't understand what the hell is going on Barnes? You act like a bloody child in the bar and now you're a sober man, ready for friendship?  
Who said I wanted that? I'd rather be by myself out in the cold than anywhere near you and your confusingly stupid face!" Bethany yelled in impatience, curling her fists by her side.

Bucky just stared, his face unreadable.

They stood in silence, confusion and outrage swirled in the air between them.  
They were so close, Bethany could feel his hot breath against her chilled face.

All she wanted to do was scream, but nothing came out.  
Bucky was completely unpredictable, his eyes seemingly searching hers, wide and careful.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" she snapped viciously, unable to bear the complicated stillness any longer.

Bucky didn't reply with any worded answer, instead, he grabbed her waist and pulled her in.

Unable to move from shock, Bethany watched his face quickly bend down to match hers, his movements rapid and desperate.

She gasped against his lips as they connected, softly at first, but gradually grew more tense. He leaned in closer when she didn't object.

Her worries and thoughts faded as he tightened his grip against her waist, clinging on to her like his life depended on it.

The fists against her sides loosened, and before she could think rationally she felt his soft, wavy hair beneath her frozen fingertips. Her other hand gripped his sharp jaw, pulling his heated face closer to hers, silently encouraging him to continue his crazy endeavor.  
He smiled against her lips, gladly accepting his invitation, and guided his hand gently to the small of her back.

Once again, after no objections, Bucky steadily held Bethany up against the The Ugly Duckling wall, pushing himself against her more firmly than before. She couldn't protest as their mouths molded against each-others, suddenly noticing the unfamiliar sensation of pleasure tingled all over her body.

It's not that she couldn't protest.  
She just didn't want to.

Nothing else seemed to matter as his hands gently reached her face, as she simultaneously moved her hands to loop around the back of his heated neck.

She couldn't think, she didn't know where she was, but the only thing she was sure about was Bucky against her, releasing their bottled frustration with every gasp of pleasure.

"Well, I definitely didn't see this coming." a voice interrupted the heated moment, snapping Bethany out of her wild thoughts.

Alerted and embarrassed, she pushed Bucky away with such force he stumbled, baffled by her sudden actions.

Steve stood with his arms crossed a short distance from the entrance, as his eyes observed the bewildered couple.

Bethany felt the shame of what she just did begin to rise inside her throat, overcoming the desires and wants she felt a short moment ago.

Bucky stayed silent, unreadable as she couldn't bare to look at him.

 _What did I just do._

"I, uh, well James and I-" the words stung in her mouth like poison, she couldn't continue.

It was impossible to lie about anything, the hole was too deep for her to climb out of.

"I need to go." she decided without another thought, mentally slapping herself as she stared at the ground, unable to look Steve or Bucky in the eye.

Bethany felt ashamed as she walked away, not because Steve caught them doing something she never thought would ever take place.  
She wasn't terrified that she had disobeyed her own thoughts, giving in to what was Bucky Barnes.

She felt horrified because she loved it.


	8. Chapter 8

_Bucky's hands caressed every weak spot with heightened pressure, burying his face against hers in desperation. He gradually began to push Bethany's flushed body harder against the frigid brick wall of the Ugly Duckling bar, sighing against her cracked lips with pleasure-_

"Oh for fuck's sake." Bethany cursed with a low grumble, planting her blushing face in her heated hands.

It had been a while since she cursed, but the moment felt appropriate.

It felt like she had walked for miles, and maybe she did. She couldn't tell, as her thoughts clouded her sense of time from the crime she just committed.

The deserted streets no longer felt as if they were lonely, as Bethany found her confused thoughts keeping her agonizing company.

Every conventional store was covered in piercing darkness, as the frozen windows advertising their products were consumed by the looming fog taking up the dimly lit road.

Bethany had gradually accepted the stillness, trudging back to the US camp she resided in with gloom. Her hands continued to forcefully cover her face, feeling too ashamed to let them go. Through the cracks between her iced fingers, she could remain glaring at the ground beneath her, too flustered to concentrate.

 _Why was it so easy to give in?_ she thought with irritation, shutting her eyes with resentment.

 _Why did he bloody do it in the first place!_

Thoughts began to swirl and merge behind her closed eyes, puzzling her even further than before.

 _He looked extremely dashing in his formal military attire, the bottle-green material causing his cerulean eyes to shine within the gloomy lighting-_

"Please, stop." Bethany murmured, purposely coming to an halt to grip her face tightly.

 _You hate him._

 _You have to hate him._

 _You need to hate him._

Unable to predict how long she stood in the silence, Bethany finally continued on home, fighting her feelings with harsh discipline and depleting encouragement.

* * *

The next morning, Bethany began to change into her proper military attire, fashioning the coffee-colored female jacket coated in various medals of honor, buttoned atop an ivory shirt. She proceeded to slip into her matching pencil skirt, which covered her knees. The uniform seemed appropriate for what was to come, as Steve had called upon every official to attend his meeting, presumably something concerning the growing Hydra threat.

Adjusting her taut jacket, Bethany nodded in acceptance into the cabin mirror, content with her appearance.  
Gathering her flowing hazel hair, she tightened the bulk into an compact bun, straightening the bumps with a sharp comb, uncomfortably scratching her pulled scalp.

"Alright." she sighed quietly to herself, satisfied with her presentation.  
Concentrating on something else, no matter how small the task was, helped ease the guilt from the night before, giving her mind more serenity than regret.

 _Bucky doesn't even occupy any quarters in this part of the camp anyway,_ she thought with little hope.

 _It's a new day, a fresh start-over._

* * *

"Hey, B, I just wanted to sa-" Bucky began, but was cut off by Bethany slamming her cabin door mid-sentence.

He stood solemnly at the entry of Bethany's cabin as soon as she had stepped outside, shyness decorating his strong features.

Closing the door immediately seemed like the best course of action.

Her hand shook nervously against the knob.

 _This is going to be a very bad day._

* * *

"Summers, I didn't think of you to be a sleeper." Steve commented teasingly, watching Bethany hurriedly take her place at the large table in the middle of the room.

She replied with a quick smile, standing beside him at the head of the table.

 _Yeah, that's definitely the reason._

It had taken her a while to exit her quarters, waiting in silence until she she sensed Bucky's presence disappear from the vibrations in the ground. She didn't care if he was offended, Bethany couldn't handle looking at him after what happened.

The room the resided in was compact, filled with government officials and military men, conversing patiently while waiting for Steve to start.

Peggy, Howard Stark and Colonel Phillips were also present, Bethany acknowledged.

Upon the table most of the members surrounded, was a map consisting of Europe. Small Hydra symbols dotted the entirety of the print, most likely strongholds and camps that needed to be eradicated.  
Bethany had designed an similar map a couple of days ago, excluding the extensive detail.

"Alright everyone, can I have your attention please." Steve spoke, his strong voice bouncing off the concrete walls, even in the small room.

Turning their attention towards their Captain, Steve continued.

"Even with our recent victory, Hydra is still a major threat against our war effort. Things seemed to work out a little easier with less men against the larger odds..." he turned to Bethany, locking eyes with shared acceptance.

"...so, I believe recruiting an specific group of soldiers to fight against Schmidt is the best course of action."

Already proven his ability to fight and protect, no one objected to his suggestion.  
The officials immediately nodded in agreement, turning to their comrades to discuss their thoughts.

Bethany grinned up at Steve, watching the room quickly increase their respect for his resolve with smiles and acknowledgement.

"You decided on a field trip, Rogers? Sounds like fun." Bethany teased, excitedly imagining of future battles, the earth surging beneath her feet as she fought.

"Yeah, I guess that's another way of putting it." he chuckled.

"So, Steve, who exactly is going help you with your endeavors?" Peggy asked, joining him and Bethany beside the table, grinning with pride towards the man she adored.

Steve grinned back, but curiously turned his attention towards Bethany, patiently waiting for his answer.

His blue eyes suddenly gleamed with mischief, catching her off guard.

"Well, to be fair, I've already decided...and I'm pretty sure Bethany's already introduced herself to one member in particular."

She sported a frown, confused by his words.

 _Already?_

Slowly, the dawning realization quickly shifted her attitude from confusion, to pure horror.

 _A very, very bad day._


	9. Chapter 9

"Everybody listen up! It's gonna be tough against Hydra, but with enough training and patience-"

"We'll kick their sorry asses?!" Dum Dum Dugan shouted abruptly with enthusiasm, flashing a massive grin underneath his ginger mustache.

The five remaining men laughed at his outburst, while Bethany stood beside them in silence, her gloomy face as white as a sheet.  
The small group of soldiers stood in the dirt, somewhere in the US camp, lining up in front Steve as he briefed them for their exclusive mission; taking down as many Hydra strongholds as possible.  
Compared to the soldiers, she felt no intense emotions full of spirit or passion. Just discomfort.

The five members consisted of a variety of personalities and races;  
Dum Dum Dugan, previously a circus strongman, stood at the end of the line, proudly wearing his signature bowler hat and an confident grin.  
Derek Luke was next in line, an African-American ready for anything, still smiling at Dugan's snide humor.  
Beside him resided James Montgomery Falsworth, a prestigious man taking part in the war effort, much to Bethany's surprise. He seemed too...British.  
Jim Morita came next, extensively shorter compared to the other men.  
Second last in the line of special soldiers stood Jacques Dernier, the French demolition expert.

The last member of the group was Bucky, much to Bethany's displeasure and Steve's amusement.

Even though Steve didn't exactly tell her "who" the last member was at the last meeting, his cheeky smirk and suggestive eyes gave Bethany a clear, horrifying idea as to who it might be.

The random selection of men showed to fit perfectly together, as they all had one common enemy.  
The Captain smiled broadly at Dugan's wit, and continued on with his inspiring words.

"Excited?" Bucky whispered under Steve's speech, as he stood beside her with hands planted firmly behind his back.

Bethany's eyes slanted in exasperation.

 _Ignore him. If you don't speak he'll forget you're there._

She continued to stare forward, showing no signs of interest.

Instead of turning away, accepting her rejection like any normal gentleman would do, Bucky leaned in closer, much to Bethany's dismay.

"Let's make a bet, B. If I take down more soldiers than you on our first mission, you have to at least talk to me." he murmured, his playful tone ringing in her ears.

 _What the hell happened to his crude demeanor from the night before?_ _Did he completely forget the events that transpired?_

"You men, changing like the wind." Bethany snorted, careful not to be too loud.

"You women, unable to accept a simple wager." Bucky replied, his teasing tones infuriating Bethany further.

 _Don't do it,_ her conscience persisted, _don't you dare._

"And if I win, you have to stay as far away from me as possible." she softly snarled back, finally giving in to her rage.

Her scowl softened as his grin remained, plastered to his attractive face.

"Deal." he breathed, his eyes glowing with amusement.

Bethany's heart rate began to fasten as she was unable to glance away, mesmerized by his enthralling features.

Bucky stared back, his smile slowly disappearing as his eyes suddenly blazed with a different feel, something Bethany recognized the night they-

"Did everyone catch that?" Steve broke her focus with his piercing voice, so loud against the shared moment between Bucky and herself.

"Loud and clear." Bucky replied, turning his attention towards the front with a sly smirk.

"Let's go kill us some Nazi's!" Dugan shouted with a burst of morale, pumping his large fist into the grey sky.

The other men mimicked their comrades action with high spirits, ready to face any challenge set before them. Bethany, on the other hand, had a different mission, still unable to accept what she just agreed to.

Sneaking one more guilty look at Bucky, she widened her eyes in surprise as he was already staring back, catching her expression with a grin, quickly giving her an impish wink.

Caught off guard from his acknowledgement, Bethany huffed in frustration, twisting around in the opposite direction.


	10. Chapter 10

"Summers, you're up." Steve whispered urgently, quickly giving her a cautious glance from his position behind the tree.

Bethany acknowledged his order with a brief nod, and began to step carefully out of the brush.  
The "Howling Commandos" were situated around the dense forest, each with their own ambush point and specific order. They were undertaking their first professional mission from command, automatically lead by Captain America himself.

The wide forest covered a large quantity of ground, surrounding one of the many Hydra facilities the group were assigned to abolish. Bethany couldn't see any pf the other team members except for Steve, as he purposely stood out from the verdant scenery with his trademark patriotic outfit, quickly giving orders to the teammates surrounding him.  
Even though Bethany was unable to physically see him, she could sense Bucky's eyes smirking into her soul as she ventured towards the single gravel road, conveniently positioned outside the Hydra base.

 _Alright Beth, it's time to show these bozos what you're capable of,_ she encouraged herself, her confidence growing, as she found the familiar sensation of her element comforting.

Rooting her leather-covered boots into the worked ground, Bethany held her breath, closing her eyes in concentration as her minds-eye reached into the earth below, pulling out the essence she needed to complete her goal.  
Forming two fists, she began to weave the earth from her enclosed palms, lifting her clenched hands in-front of her tensed body. Sensing the amount of Earth she had summoned was enough, Bethany snapped open her eyes, simultaneously releasing her fists. The Earth beneath started to crack, and soon enough rocks and dirt spilled from the fracture she created in the road. The growing wave of terrain pulsed like an entity as it converged before her, seemingly waiting for her next motion. Her hands mirrored the swell of gravel as she mentally held it upright, and began to steadily direct her energy towards the main gates of the enemy's camp.  
The sound was uncomfortably deafening, as the dirt and rocks scraped together to complete Bethany's mission. The impact of the Earth collided with the barriers surrounding the facility, shattering the bases defenses with heightened pressure.  
Shouts erupted from inside the Hydra camp as Bethany eventually slowed the earthly mass to a complete stop, letting her arms fall beside her with a satisfied grin. Her limbs ached from the controlled power she had just released, and her heart was beating rapidly from the adrenaline,  
but ignorance was bliss. Her bet with Bucky felt more important.

"Impressive, Summers." Steve complimented with an encouraging grin, joining her on the destroyed gravel road.

"Nothing to it." Bethany replied with a smile.

She peered over her shoulder with a teasing smirk, unable to see Bucky directly but knew, with confidence, that he was staring right at her.

 _He must feel real bad,_ Bethany thought impulsively, trailing behind Steve as they made their way towards the Hydra stronghold, now open to the Howling Commandos impending attacks.

His stupid sniper rifle was nothing compared to her natural abilities _._

 _This is going to be too easy._

* * *

The stale air was filled with cries of agony and triumph, as the Howling Commandos charged into the Hydra base from various directions. The group of eight (excluding Bucky) immediately began to purge the enemy forces with explosions, guns, and brawls.

Breaking off from Steve's side, Bethany began to cover her own section of the camp, sweeping up her strained hands to control small amounts of earthly matter, with the intention to quickly execute her foes. The first wave contained two enemy soldiers, dressed head to toe in pure black uniforms, who instantaneously charged directly towards her. Bethany braced herself, preparing for the incoming attack, but was abruptly startled by the sound of an earsplitting gunshot.  
The vibration erupted in her ears as she winced in discomfort, but groaned loudly in disappointment as the two Hydra soldiers collapsed at her feet. One large, gaping hole began to ooze blood from the collateral bullet the Hydra agents perished from, transforming Bethany's confusion to induced impatience. Annoyed, Bethany directed her glare to where the sniper shot originated from, certain she knew exactly who took the shot.

Once again she could sense Bucky, mockingly smiling directly where she stood, enraging the world weaver to an extent.

"Is that how you wanna play it?" she venomously growled under her breath. "Fine."

Pounding her fists violently into the ground beneath her, Bethany summoned the materials needed for her next ability. For the second time that week, her wrists and clenched fists magnetized the Earth to form powerful gauntlets consisting of her elemental energy. Thumping her heavy gloves together, she dashed forward, throwing herself into the battle taking place on the other side of the facility.

* * *

Waves upon waves of enemies tried to combat the Howling Commandos with increased violence, but as the numbers dwindled the Hydra forces slowly began to disintegrate, the quantity of threats became inadequate to fight against.  
Coursing with forced energy and excitement, Bethany was finally able to relax, gradually collapsing to her knees with sudden exhaustion.

"That was dangerous and nearly suicidal. Let's do it again." Derek Luke grinned, leaning on one of the destroyed parts of the obliterated facility.  
The other men cheered in agreement, beads of sweat decorating their flushed faces from fatigue. To Bethany's surprise, every Howling Commando was still standing, congratulating each other with encouraging nudges and mockery.

"I can't even count how many times I saved your French ass." Dugan teased Jaques Dernier, removing his signature bowler hat to straighten his damp ginger hair.

Bethany couldn't help but grin, surprised with their growing morale and courageousness. They were different compared to the many soldiers she had fought alongside by.

They were the Howling Commandos.

"So, Rogers, what's next on our busy schedule?" Bethany inquired with a cheeky smile, gazing up towards the proud Captain before them.

Steve stood with his strong arms on his hips, with grazes and progressive bruises forming on his chiseled jaw-line.

"On to the next base I guess." he replied, squinting into the distance with a sigh.

The group cheered once more, eager to go "against all odds"already.

"Wait, has anyone seen Barnes?" Jim Morita questioned with concern, breaking through his comrades celebratory yelling.

The Howling Commandos ironically ceased to howl, eagerly searching for the last member within the perimeter.

After a moment of confused silence, a small sense of worry began to develop inside Bethany's drained chest, as she began to frantically scan her surroundings.

"Right here." a voice came from behind them, drawing their attention to Bucky, standing atop the rubble, obviously full of smugness.

He wore his exclusively new soldier attire; a navy blue coat buttoned to one side of his broad chest, tight chocolate soldier pants and mid-length charcoal leather boots. He held his trusty sniper rifle steadily in both hands, and began to make his way down to where the rest of the group were positioned.

To Bethany's blushing discomfort, he was staring straight at her, his eyes flirting with hers.

"Steve, my good friend, how many confirmed kills did I get?" Bucky asked without taking his eyes off of her.

She frowned. _Why would he ask Steve that?_

"It looks like all of them, my good friend Bucky." Steve replied with a small smirk, confusing Bethany even further.

"Wait, no he didn't-"

"Yeah, it looks like he did indeed." Dugan chimed in, a smile forming on his manly face.

All the men began to exchange cheeky glances, transforming Bethany's face from rose red to violent purple.

"You've got to be kidding me..." she fumed, scowling at Bucky as his smile grew with her expanding impatience.

"Jeez, it looks like everyone agrees with me. Seems like you lost Summers." he teased, holding out his hand to help her up.

Rolling her eyes in discontent, Bethany regrettably grabbed his hand, hoisting herself up from the floor.

With their hands still locked, Bucky leaned in, and whispered gently into her exposed ear.

"Nothing to it."


	11. Chapter 11

"So, that battle was a bit crazy, don't ya think?" Bucky asked with enthusiasm as they rode back to Colonel Phillip's base, sitting side by side in the back of the military truck.

The Howling Commandos "decided" to leave them alone because "Bucky won the bet."

 _He didn't win,_ Bethany had thought with frustration, _he completely cheated._

"Bloody marvelous." Bethany spat, tensing her crossed arms with increased agitation.

She stared at the steel floor in exasperation, her mind racing as she felt Bucky playfully sigh beside her.

They sat extremely close together, close enough that she could feel his woolen coat constantly brush against her leather jacket.

 _Abort. Contact. Abort,_ she thought with panic, scooting a few inches away.

"B, I understand how frustrated you are-"

"Do you really? Because right now it feels like you know jack shit about anything, Barnes." she flared, exhaling with anger.

"Look, the only thing I don't know about is your attitude. I remember you in New York, helping me out not because you had to, but because you wanted to." he pressed on, causing Bethany to recall that noisy night, full of hopes and lies.

It made her shiver.

"Then, you save me from Hydra with my best friend for what? So you could die together? Against all odds you saved me, and I never got to thank you for that."

She could hear the flutter in her breath. It sounded miles away.

"After all that you decided "Hey, he's not worth my time." and ignored me completely. I didn't know what to feel-"

"And what about me? Huh?! Do you even remember the Ugly Duckling? You, prancing around acting drunk for attention then BOOM "let's practically have sex against the wall"? Can you explain yourself or not?" she sharply intervened, snapping her head to face him with outrage.

He wasn't looking back, however, instead looking the opposite direction with his chest rising and falling in a controlled manner. Bethany nevertheless was breathing hard as blood circulated behind her ears, causing them to blush from her admittance.

Silence sat between them for what felt like agonizing years, until he finally spoke.

"I thought you liked Steve. I'm not used to that, being second best and all. But at the bar I saw the way you looked at him, and I knew. You didn't like him... you respected him." he confessed, turning around to face her.

Bethany kept silent, unable to think as astonishment froze her in time.

"Though I realized how stupid I was, you already left. I wanted to say sorry for acting like a moron but, when I found you outside I..." his words faded as his eyes softened, biting his lip with hesitation.

Bethany's heart beat faster with every word.

"...I couldn't help myself. You looked so beautiful."he murmured with a crooked smile, his teasing demeanor returning.

Bethany still stunned by silence, just stared.

"I'm sorry about bet thing, that was a jerk thing to do. But I just needed some time with you to explain myself, that's all." he concluded, waiting for her response.

Bethany's felt like her feelings were put through a blender, as her self-inflicted denial began to crack.

 _You can't be with him._

"I feel something real for you, Beth. And I know you feel it too, you called me James after all." he continued with a pleasant smile, filling in the silence.

Gathering the strength to respond, Bethany finally answered.

"I don't know what to say, really. All my life I've tried fighting everything. Wars, feelings, ideals. The Doctor-" Bethany hesitated, as it had been months since she mentioned his name.

"Dr Erkstine raised me to do good in this lifetime, for the price of my normality. For a long time I didn't believe in happy endings, not because I wasn't happy. I just couldn't bring myself to believe it existed." she resumed, frowning into his listening eyes.

"And then you came along...Oh God this is stupid." she paused with frustration, placing her throbbing head in her hands, exhausted.

She just fought in a battle. This moment felt like it required the same strength.

Before she could maintain herself, she felt Bucky's gentle hand on her shoulder, turning her body to face him.

"B it's okay, you don't have to explain anything. I can wait." he murmured reassuringly, giving her a soft smile.

For the first time in her short life, Bethany felt something different. She couldn't grasp the meaning of the sensation, but it felt...right.

"Is this a date?" she mumbled, her face brightening from the suggestion.

His small smile grew into a grin, his eyes shining with delight.

"Anything you want it to be."


	12. Chapter 12

**URGENT MESSAGE TO ALL READERS.**

 **I've gotten emails from readers who have told me that they have written reviews on my chapters. I'm so sorry for not replying, but;**

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 **I have no idea what to do, my story isn't updating in the Captain America category when I upload a new chapter AND I can't see any reviews posted :(**

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" _"Anything you want it to be."_? Jesus Christ, give that man a bloody tissue." Peggy scoffed with disgust, dropping the pen she was writing with in frustration.

Bethany blinked, taken aback by her friend's unusual behaviour.

"Peggy, I know you have a special hate for men, but you don't seem like yourself today-"

"Me? I'm fine Beth i'm completely okay i'm..." Peggy fussed, slowly closing her eyelids as her beautiful face began to sadden.

Bethany arose from her wooden chair, and quickly hurried over to Peggy, concerned for her colleagues gloomy attitude. Joining Peggy on the small bed, she gently rubbed her shoulder in support.

"I order you to tell me what happened, Agent Carter." Bethany demanded playfully,hopefully brightening her friend's spirits.

Peggy gave a small smile in response, but her expression quickly reverted back to the disheartened frown.

"I...I accidentally walked in on Steve-I mean Captain Rogers, kissing Lorraine." she sighed, rising from the bed to position herself in front of the vanity.

Dumbfounded, Bethany's expression rapidly changed from confusion to disgust.

"Lorraine?! The private with the blond hair and the googly eyes-"

"Bethany, I think you're missing the point here." she interrupted impatiently, impulsively biting her rose-red lip uncomfortably.

"Peggy, before the serum Rogers most likely had never kissed a woman. Trust me. No exaggerations needed." Bethany confessed with a shrug as Peggy frowned, scrunching her eyebrows in thought.

"What you feel for Rogers is unique, you admire his ability to be a TRUE hero. Lousy Lorraine probably admires his exterior, not his interior."

"But he looked like he was enjoying it, no matter where she was looking..."

"Men are stupid. They think they know everything. Steve is naive, my dear Peggy. He just needs a little push and shove in the right direction."  
Bethany finished with a caring smile, joining Peggy.

The other woman sighed with melancholy, accepting Bethany's supportive embrace with watery eyes.

"It'll be alright, just think pleasant thoughts."

"I also shot him." Peggy abruptly added, shrugging guiltily.

"That's the spirit-wait what?!"


	13. Chapter 13

**MONTHS LATER**

"Concentrate B, just breathe. This is your moment, just let go of everything-"

"James if you don't shut your mouth I swear on Steve I'll shut it for you." Bethany muttered, balancing Bucky's heavy sniper rifle carefully on her shoulder.

"Try me." he teased, gently breathing down her neck, knowing how greatly she disliked the sensation.

Sighing with irritation, Bethany dislodged the rifle to face Bucky laying mere centimeters away from her frowning face.  
The pair were laying down among the dirt and the trees, quietly training with Bucky's favorite weapon. Over the past couple of months the Howling Commandos had gone on countless suicide missions, each endeavor weakening the strength Hydra claimed to have over Europe.

During that time, Bethany begrudgingly accepted Bucky's constant advances at friendship. As each dangerous operation became increasingly deadlier, their relationship grew into something more, unable to bear the thought of losing each-other. But she refused to anything else, rejecting anything other than friends, denying her persistent feelings with constant turmoil.

"James Buchanan Barnes, what will I ever do with you?" she sighed, hoisting herself up onto her elbow beside him.

"Well, I have a pretty good idea as to what you SHOULD do..." he mumbled, planting his smirking face on his hands.

Rolling her eyes, Bethany proceeded to get up, much to Bucky's confused displeasure.

"Beth I'm just teasing, I'll be quiet from now on. I promise." he protested with an impish tone, tapping the ground beside him with eagerness.

She couldn't help but smile at his childish attitude, secretly adoring his sense of humor.

"You do remember we're at war, right?"

"Of course I do, what kind of question is that?" he asked quizzaciously, rising to join her.

"I don't know." she answered with a frown, unable to grasp at the true explanation.

 _Sometimes he acts too positive,_ Bethany thought with concern, watching him brush the dirt off of his pants.

 _Like he's trying to forget something._

"Well that's a first." he teased, sliding his arm over her shoulder as they proceeded to walk back to the base.

She held his limp hand in hers, and began to play with his well-worn fingers. Comfortable silence resided between them as they wandered out of the forest, the serenity of the moment required no effort, just quiet.

"Beth?" Bucky asked, his cool tone keeping the moment of tranquility intact.

"Yes, James?"

"Why do you call me James?" he sighed with playful annoyance, his placid expression breaking into a smile.

"Is that your question?"

"It could be."

"Just tell me for God's sake-"

"In the near possible future, do you ever see us together?" he blurted out, pausing on the spot.

Bethany sighed in exasperation, turning to face him with furrowed eyebrows.

"James, you know how I feel about that..." she replied firmly, but her words felt unsure.

He continued to smile, but behind the grin Bethany knew exactly how he felt.

"I know I know, I just feel like something bad's about to happen. I can't explain it, but I can feel it...and I wanna-"

"-make the most of our time spent together. I get it James. But you don't understand how I feel. I like our friendship as it is. Complicated."  
she intervened with a sigh, gazing up at him with worry.

 _He's not usually this forward..._

After a moment of silence, Bethany noticed a flash of unease under his cheerful expression, but it disappeared before she could elaborate.

"Okay, I guess you're right. Nothing to worry about." Bucky nodded, resuming their venture back towards the base.

A pit of worry formed in the depths of her stomach, as she glanced up at him with apprehension.

 _Nothing to worry about._


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning, Bethany awoke to the sound of frantic banging against her cabin door. Drowsily, she quickly dressed and halfheartedly opened the door to find Bucky leaning against the door frame, waiting patiently in his Howling Commandos uniform. To her sleepy surprise, his azure eyes were large and vigilant for an early morning, as he frowned at the ground in concentration. His expression formed into a tender smile as Bethany appeared, glaring at his unwanted presence.

"Do you know what time it is, Barnes?" she grumbled, hugging herself against the frosty morning air in the entryway.

"Barnes? You're that angry with me?" he teased with amusement, inviting himself into her military quarters.

Bethany crossed her arms in irritation, closing the door behind him with a small thud.

"So? What's on your mind at 5 in the morning?" she sighed, rubbing her weary eyes with a lazy hand.

"Steve's got a lead. On Zola." Bucky answered solemnly, the playfulness quickly fading from his demeanor.

Her eyes widened at his words, the tiredness quickly dissolving from her body.

"Arnim Zola? Is he-"

"Sure? Yeah. It's him." he interjected placidly.

Bethany bit her lip, unable to work out what to say. Even from the other side of the room, she could still manage to see Bucky tense at the doctor's name.

"James, if we find him...WHEN we find him, we'll figure out what he did to you. Everything will be okay-"

"But what if it's not? What if he did something that's permanent? What happens then?" he interjected harshly, panic evident in his hoarse voice.

Bethany couldn't help but stare in shock, as he was never prone to outbursts in any situation, even the dangerous ones.

"You need to think positive about this. We'll get him, together." she gently replied, walking up to embrace him from behind.

He was much taller than she was, as it was hard to reach around his hard physique. But she managed, tightly squeezing what she could. After a moment of stillness, he complied, turning his body around to face hers. Bucky held her against him with eagerness, resting his chin on her small shoulder with a shakey sigh.

"I love you, Beth." he murmured softly, nuzzling his nose deeper into her exposed neck.

"I love you too, Bucky." she replied, smiling tenderly into his hardened chest.

His rib cage began to shake as he chuckled against her.

"Bucky, now? You women, changing like the wind."

"Hey, that's my line!"

* * *

"We just got intel on a freighter train carrying a particular Swiss scientist." Steve reported, flashing a concerned look at Bucky from the other side of the table.

Bucky stood motionless, a composed expression planted firmly on his chiseled face.  
The Howling Commandos surrounded a large wooden table, patiently waiting for their Captain's orders for their next mission. Bethany stood beside Steve and Dum Dum Dugan with her arms crossed, listening to Steve's next plan with consideration.

"Unfortunately, we can only access the train by intercepting it while it's still moving. A small group of us-"

A groan of disappointment echoed throughout the room, as the men realized not all of them were going to be in the action.

"-are going to board the train, capture Zola and secure the rest of the cargo. Any questions?" he finished, looking at each of his men with raised eyebrows.

There was silence, as every team member exchanged approving nods, agreeing with the plan. Bethany, however, glanced at Bucky, noticing his unusual behavior with worriedness. He stood unnervingly still, his expression seemed miles away as his eyebrows furrowed together in thought.

At last, he raised his full attention to Steve, a look of determination coloring his handsome face.

"When do we start."


	15. Chapter 15

**QUICK UPDATE**

 **I think Fanfic fixed my P.M box, as I can see reviews now! hopefully it stays that way :D thankyou for your patience and enjoy!**

"Did I ever mention I was afraid of heights?" Bethany spitefully wheezed, grasping onto the the cliff's icy edge in terror.

She could feel it's freezing surface under her frigid fingers, praying that she didn't slip off the icy terrain the Howling Commandos were situated upon. Mere hours after the meeting, the team of eight made their way towards the rendezvous point to hijack the Hydra train carrying Arnim Zola. Steve, much to Bethany's dismay, decided to board the train from above, ambushing the scientist from the snowy mountains.

"Never." Steve replied with a mocking grin, and continued to adjust the zip line that would transport them to the moving convoy.

The other men prepared their gear, assorting their firearms for the oncoming mission. They seemed unafraid of the steep drop,  
but supported Bethany with reassuring words and playful nudges. Bucky, on the other hand, stood beside her, unmoving and silent. His blue coat was buttoned all the way to the top of his neck, his trusty sniper rifle slung around his shoulder as his short chocolate hair moved slightly with the chilling howls of the wind. His glassy eyes matched the frosty peaks perfectly, shining brightly with the snow surrounding them. Through all the terror, Bethany felt worried for his mental well-being, as the past couple of months seemed to take a toll on his mind.

"B, you're staring at me again." Bucky grinned, snapping Bethany out of her troubled reverie.

"It's better than looking down, to be completely honest." she retorted, holding herself even tighter against the rocky surface.

"C'mon, it ain't so bad once you get used to it. Just look at the view." he said, spreading his arms widely to en capture their surroundings.

Bethany gulped down her terror and followed his words, slowly looking away to stare at the scenery before them. Everything was covered in deep snow, painting the massive landscape in white and blue. The mountains took up the view of the sun, covering the landscape in gloom and mysterious beauty. Her rapidly beating heart began to decrease with her growing tranquility, enthralled by the picture portrayed in front of them.

"It's beautiful." she breathed, turning her head towards Bucky with excitement.

Surprisingly, he was staring directly at her, completely lost within his own thoughts.

"It is." he acknowledged with an affectionate smile, as his snowy eyes glowed with adoration.

For a moment, they stared at each other in silence, sharing words that didn't need to be spoken. Somewhere, deep within her being, Bethany felt an expanding pain begin to form within her breathless chest. It wasn't physical pain, but emotional, as the sense of longing began to overtake her rational feelings. It was either the developing feeling of loss that had formed over the last couple of months, or the arcophobia, she couldn't tell. But one way or another, she finally accepted how Bucky felt about her.

About how she felt about him.

"Bucky, there's something I've been meaning to say-"

Before she could continue, the deafening sound of a horn broke through the mountains.

"Are you two lovebirds done? We've got a train to catch!" Dugan shouted over the loud vibration, as the other Commandos began to get ready for the incoming train.

"Alright, Bucky, Gabe and myself will take it from here. All of you need to stay put, just in case something doesn't go the way we planned." Steve decided, picking up his symbolic shield with a swift motion, slinging it over his armored back.

The group nodded in unison, respecting the Captain's orders.

Bethany, frustrated and confused, quickly grabbed Bucky's arm as he made his way towards the suspended zipline.

"Bucky before you go-"

Once again, Bethany was cut off by the sounds of the freighter, honking very closely to where the Howling Commandos waited. He gave her a teasing grin, and quickly planted a tender kiss on her flushed cheek, freezing from the cold.

"I'll be back, B. After this we'll have plenty of time to catch up, alright?" he said, holding her chin softly with his free hand.

Suddenly frightened, Bethany held it against her burning face, and silently nodded.

 _Something doesn't feel right,_ she thought with dread, as he gently removed his hand to grip the wire.

"Be careful." she whispered, giving him a weak smile in response.

"I'm Lucky Bucky, remember?" he teased, giving her a wink.

Bethany couldn't help but grin at his demeanor, as she watched Steve, Gabe and Bucky ride the wire onto the unstoppable train.

 _Everything's gonna be fine,_ she thought hopefully, observing the men safely land on the Hydra freighter.

 _Everything's gonna be okay._


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry for all the editors notes!**

 **I just wanted to say how grateful I am with the support! You guys are really awesome :D**

 **Unfortunately, for the guest reviews, I can't reply to those which I didn't realize before :( Fanfic doesn't allow the authors to reply to those :( But you guys are awesome too!**

 **Thank you everyone for your continued support and patience!**

"Alright everyone, back to work!" Dum Dum Dugan shouted over the howling winds, ordering the rest of the Howling Commandos to finish their part in the mission.

Instantaneously, everyone reverted their eyes from the train to continue their duty. Bethany, however, continued to stare at the hulking freighter, watching the last carriage disappear behind the mountain's edge. She stood in complete stillness, reflecting upon her own conflicting emotions.

 _These risks weren't any different from the last mission,_ she thought with unease, unable to take her eyes off of where the train had vanished.

 _Why the hell was this any different?_

"Summers, c'mon, we got shit to do." a voice snapped her out of her thoughts, as a large hand rested on her tense shoulder.

Dugan gave Bethany an understanding smile, tapping her shoulder sympathetically. She returned his sentiment, acknowledging his command, and began to walk towards the other Commandos on the cliff's edge. Suddenly, an earsplitting explosion erupted through the mountains, causing the team to quickly face the concerning sound. In that moment, Bethany's heart stopped, as the abrupt feeling of shock quickly consumed her senses.

 _Bucky._

Without another thought she ran, bolting towards the cliff's edge without hesitation, and jumped. She could hear the men shout her name in sudden panic, but she ignored it. She had to.

The wind whipped her flushed face as she descended rapidly down the peak's edge, closing her eyes with immediate concentration. She felt the Earth's dormant energy surrounding her, desperately trying to grasp it's persistent essence. After a moment of calmness, a spark ruptured from her clenched hands, bursting open her eyes from the rush of power. Descending disturbingly fast into the cold abyss, Bethany struggled to raise her arm against the violent pressure, but once she managed to concentrate, she quickly attached herself to the mountain's slippery surface, grasping onto the rocks with ease. Bonding with the inert Earth beneath the snow allowed Bethany to manipulate the rough exterior to her whim. The inoperative Earth didn't guarantee it's cooperation, but it was worth the risk.

 _Anything for them. Anything for him._

Directing her absorption to her legs, Bethany began to sprint horizontally up the mountains fringe, and in turn vaulted herself off of the icy surface, connecting her feet onto one of the neighboring mountains, as she desperately tried to catch up to the danger the other Commandos were facing. Her legs were aching by the time she caught up to the Hydra train, standing sideways against the mountain. Breathing hard with exhaustion, Bethany's eyes widened at the scene before her. The Hydra train had come to an complete stop, as parts of the freighter were covered in holes and smoke. Among the destruction, Bethany could barely make out Steve, standing in one of the many gaping holes.

"Rogers!" she shouted, barreling forward towards the motionless freighter. As her vision started to clear, she noticed the Captain was standing unusually still, staring into the blinding abyss of the snow. Managing to leap from the mountain to the train, Bethany quickly planted her feet on the steel surface, silently glad to be on solid ground. She observed her surroundings with caution, staring wide eyed at the destruction the train had been put though. Jumping through a large man-made opening on the roof of one of the carriages, she landed exactly beside Steve, breathing hard with adrenaline.

"Rogers, I came as soon as I could..." her words were lost in the sudden feeling of apprehension, as Gage entered the carriage carrying the small scientist Arnim Zola.

She frowned, as sudden dread began to form in her tight chest.

"Where's Bucky?" she asked with concern, half expecting him to walk out from behind Gage, carrying a playful smirk on his handsome face.

However, no one answered, as the silence cut through Bethany's heart like a knife. Zola filled the void with a snarky giggle, his panicked face scrunching into an horrid smirk. A small ringing sound wailed in her flushed ears, as the sudden feeling of numbness took a hold on her entire body.

 _This isn't right._

"Where's Bucky." she choked softly, her gasping voice sounding miles away.

 _Everything's gonna be okay._

Steve didn't reply, but continued to face his back towards them without any reaction. It felt like her breath was being extracted from her body, as the horrible truth began to dawn on her. Her vision began to blur as tears formed from her eyes, streaming down her feverish face, even though she never felt the sensation of sadness. Just shock.

"Where is he?" she breathed once more, unable to accept to inevitable truth.

 _Everything's gonna be FINE._

"It all happened so fast." Steve whispered beside her, filling in the silence that consumed the air.

Bethany slowly raised her throbbing head, staring at Steve in horror. Without her noticing, he had turned away from the massive hole on the side of the train, staring directly at her with overwhelming sadness. He wasn't crying, but the pain in his eyes felt devastating.

"There was an explosion-"

"WHERE IS HE." Bethany screamed with desperation, as the tears enveloped her wavering vision completely.

"He's DEAD, fraulien!" Zola yelled with glee, laughing at the grieving soldiers with disgusting amusement.

Gage quickly punched Zola square in the face, swiftly silencing the crazed scientist.

But that didn't matter. Nothing did. For the second time in her short life, Bethany felt lifeless, sagging to the carriage floor in misery and despair.

 _This can't be happening._

 _Not now. He was just here. He can't be..._

Her thoughts evaporated into her destroyed mind, as she felt an earsplitting scream of pain erupt around her. The ground began to vibrate as the scream transformed into a wail, sending tremors through the mountain their were situated upon. Suddenly, Bethany's throat felt dry as she came to her senses, wildly looking from Steve to Gage. Their expressions were consumed with horror, shouting directly at her urgently.

But she couldn't hear anything, just the sounds of agony.

As the quivering train began to violently shake, Bethany abruptly felt something hard collide with her head, sending her flying towards the ground. She collapsed in a heap, her vision began to rapidly disappear as the screams unanticipatedly stopped. Slowly, from where she lay, Bethany began to realize where the screams had come from.

"I'm sorry..." Steve's voice whispered with great sorrow, as her thoughts quickly faded into nothing.


	17. Chapter 17

_"I love you." Bethany blurted out, feeling the warm blood rush towards her cheeks._

 _Bucky's cerulean eyes widened in surprise, his expression breaking into an affectionate grin._

 _"You can't say that, B." he replied softly, pulling her towards his chest to embrace her shaking figure._

 _"Why not?" she breathed, as the salty tears cascaded down her blotched face._

 _Why am I crying?_

 _Silence seeped through the tender moment with ease, as Bucky reached down to hold her face within his grasp. He gently tilted her chin towards his own, continuously smiling as she cried. He slowly leaned in, whispering hoarsely into her ear._

 _"Because i'm dead."_

* * *

"No!" Bethany screamed, frantically awakening from her terrifying dream.

Breathing heavily with short, raspy breaths, she rubbed her eyes hesitantly, clearing up her vision. Simultaneously, her mind began to expand as the horrible realization of what happened spread like a plague.

 _It wasn't a dream._

Her entire body felt bruised and battered as she positioned herself upright, wincing at the sharp pain enveloping her sore back. Leaning against the uncomfortable pillow with apprehension, she took a deep, calming breath, ignoring the throbbing ache of her head, and began to survey the infirmary. It was a small, gloomy room, completely empty aside from her bed and side cabinet. The silence was suffocating, making her shiver underneath her thin hospital gown. A drip clung to her wrist, sending tiny pains down her right arm, adding insult to injury. On the other side of the room, her door abruptly opened to reveal Steve, worriedly looking around her room.

"Summers are you-" his voice cut off as his concerned eyes fell upon her, quietly sighing in relief.

"Hey there, glad you're awake." he said gently, walking over and placing his broad frame beside her on the bed.

"Me too, I guess." she croaked, her throat aching immensely.

He gently cupped her small hand within his own, squeezing it slightly in support. Slowly raising her throbbing head, she stared at him with sadness, as the overwhelming guilt began to rise within her destroyed throat. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, as dark crescents had formed underneath his tired blue eyes. He gave her an encouraging smile, but behind his endurance, Bethany could see his post-serum self exposed behind his exterior. Overcome with misery, she felt herself suddenly sobbing, as her whole body suffered with every whimper.

"I can't feel anything, Steve." she cried softly, quickly embracing him with desperation.

"I know." he whispered, his voice cracking as he cradled her trembling figure.

"I know."


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys just a quick question:**

 **Do you like short chapters? Or long chapters? Because I feel like long chapters are too boring while short chapters are too...short haha.**

 **If you can just P.M me your opinion! ENJOY**

Countless days wasted away before Bethany's eyes as she recovered in the infirmary. It could've been days, weeks or months. She couldn't tell anymore. She didn't want to. Steve visited on an daily basis, keeping her up to date with every Hydra operation they initiated, or just to keep her silent company. His way of dealing with the crushing grief was continuously fighting, as he didn't need to think about anything. Bethany, on the other hand, was immobilized, confined to the stiff bed while she gradually recovered.

"What exactly did I do." she grumbled one evening, observing Steve's reaction to her sudden question.

His eyes widened for a single moment, but quickly disappeared as he solemly sighed.

"You might've cause an avalanche...which is completely understandable." he said with slight hesitation, averting his gaze to the floor.

"Huh.", was all she said.

The Howling Commandos, Peggy and military officials would also visit from time to time, checking her status and well-being with good intentions. Bethany tried to feel appreciation for their concern, but her mind felt numb. The only feeling she endured was vengeance. Steve, like herself, was going through the exact same trauma she was. Her ruined body was nothing compared to the immeasurable agony her mentality was experiencing. It was her mission to end Hydra and everything it stood for once and for all.

For the war.

For her father.

For Bucky.

* * *

"When I get out of here, i'm gonna kill that fucker. And none of you can stop me."

"I know Summers. That's why i'm here." Steve replied with monotone, staring into her confused eyes with intensity.

She frowned at his sturdy resolve, taken aback by his support to her claim. It was another evening full of silence, but the building rage had blinded Bethany's common sense, causing her to give into her fury. Steve, surprisingly, was thinking the same thing.

"Red Skull has a plan. A very dangerous plan that will leave millions of people dead. And it's our job to stop him." he continued.

"Last time something like this happened you told me to keep a level head-"

"That was last time. And you wanted to take them on alone. This is the same thing, but this time we have a whole army behind us." he interrupted sternly, his large eyes blazing with determination.

Bethany gave him a look of apphrehension, shaking her head with doubt.

"Us? Trust me, I want to destory those fucking parasites more than anyone but i'm not at full strength. If this shit is happening now I can't-"

"You won't have to. We have enough men to infilitrate their base and stop Schmidt." he finished, rising from his chair with resolve.

"Rogers, that's not fair."

"Red Skull isn't going to wait for anyone Beth-"

"Then i'm coming with you. I need to make sure he gets put in the ground." she retorted, desperately struggling to position herself upright.

"Bethany listen to me, I can't take care of you out there. It's safer for you here." Steve countered concern, catching her quivering arm.

"No Steve you listen to me! Bucky's dead because of that bastard! I haven't thought of anything else since i've been stuck in this shithole! I need to do this, for him-" she shouted with frustration, yanking her arm from his strong grasp with effort.

"You aren't the only one who lost him!" he yelled, his chest rising and falling rapidly with grieviance.

Bethany haulted her struggle in shock, staring wide eyed at the Captain from her puny hospital bed. A look of sadness covered his sculpted face, as he glared at her in impatience.

"He was my best friend. My family... He was all I had left." he stated, misery laced with each word.

She stayed silent, as guilt tormented her sore chest.

"I understand how much he meant to you, Beth. But I've already lost him. I can't lose you too." he whispered, as the harsh tone in his voice began to collapse.

At that exact moment, Bethany felt the immense urge to weep. But no tears came.

They were all dried up.

"Steve, wait. Steve please-" she begged with sudden desperation, watching helplessly as he stormed out of the room.

But he was already gone.


	19. Chapter 19

Consuming every bit of strength left in her fragile body, Bethany hoisted herself off the infirmary bed, collapsing to the cold, hard floor with a bang. Harsh pulses of pain flowed form her back to her neck, as her body warned her of the impending consequences.

"I need to help Steve." she wheezed with discomfort, as the exhaustion slowly grasped her sore limbs with ease.

 _I need to save him._

Crawling at a painfully slow speed, she edged closer to the looming door before her, carrying her powerless body across the smooth ground. The exit felt like miles away, as the extensive effort waned down her energy with every move.

 _I can make it,_ she thought with declining determination.

 _I have to do this._

As her sight began to waver from fatigue, Bethany gave one last futile effort to reach for the door. She felt it's steel surface on her quivering fingertips, but to her weary dismay, her exhaustion quickly enveloped her remaining vision before she could continue, sending her spiraling into the darkness.

* * *

"Bethany? Bethany please..." a shrill, British voice whispered, the soft breath tingling Bethany's eardrums, rousing her from her unconsciousness.

Rising from the darkness, she looked around with uncertainty, adjusting her eyes to the bright light shining in her unprepared face. Peggy's attractive features filled up her immediate vision, as the other woman leaned over her body with panic.

"Bethany! My God you scared me-"

"Where's Steve? I need to get to him he's in danger..." she breathed with alarm, grabbing Peggy's outstretched arm in fear.

Her large brown eyes widened in horror, taken aback with her sudden request. Slowly, Bethany began to notice her friend's saddened attitude, as her usually perfect face was riddled with red blotches and moisture. Unavoidable denial blinded her judgement, as she sagged her shoulders in despair.

 _No. Not again._

"I am so sorry, Beth. Captain Rogers...Steve...risked his life to save countless others-"

But before Peggy could finish, Bethany slowly rose from her hospital bed, unable to feel any pain from her damaged figure. Enough was enough. She didn't want to hear it.

 _Why me?_

"What are you doing?!" she demanded with panic, quickly grabbing Bethany's shoulders with alarm.

 _Why is everyone dead?_

"I'm going to sleep." Bethany whispered apathetically, releasing herself from Peggy's gentle grasp.

 _I should be dead. Not them._

She let her ruined body carry her to where it wanted to go, as her thoughts faded in and out of consciousness.

 _They never deserved any of this._

The Doctor's worn face flashed before her weary eyes, his expression calculating and intelligent. Steve appeared afterwards, his small demeanor from New York gave a determined smile, followed by his post-serum self, grinning with pride at nothing in particular. Lastly, Bucky's handsome face fueled her frozen soul, as his snowy, glowing eyes gazed into her own unfocused ones. She felt hot tears stream down her swollen face, vaguely surprised she could endure the emotion.

 _I loved them all, and now they're gone._

After a short period of nothingness, Bethany felt wet dirt against her bare feet. It was cold and soggy, seeping into her exposed skin. It was comforting, in a way, and gradually she lay herself down, sinking into the saturated Earth with ease.

 _Sleeping helps everything._

Bethany embraced the Earth, sinking deeper into the soil as it molded with every part of her being. As the oxygen began to quickly disappear, her gulpsof air began to shorten into little whimpers of pain.

 _It's time to go to sleep._

A single tear quietly streamed down her tight face, as the ground encased her entire body completely.

 _Goodnight,_ was the last thought she imagined, as she quickly succumbed to the welcoming isolation.

 **And that's the end of Act 1! (a.k.a The first Avenger) i'm already writing the next Act (The Winter Soldier) rn. Sorry this act was so short, I just have more ideas for the 2nd movie and the 3rd. But I hope you all enjoyed it** **anyways!**


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